Parents should not have to watch over their children 24/7, where its a life threatening condition, so I suggest you:
- ask children's social services for an assessment of need under the Children's Act 1989 - because your DS is at "critical risk", one of the criteria for assessment and getting social care
- read "Working together to safeguard children" - this is the guidelines for social services on the assessment of need for disabled children. (Children's social services have two functions - everybody knows they do child protection; but less well known is that their other arm is Children with Disabilities Teams, to provide care and support to a disabled child and their family. Unfortunately, the government saw fit to mix up the guidelines for disabled children with those for child protection, so you have to ignore all the stuff about child protection.)
- once the assessment of need is underway by the Children with Disabilities Team at Children's Services, ask them for an assessment for continuing care for children by your local CCG. (This is where the care needs arise from a primary health condition, and obviously severe epilepsy is one - the child's care is then funded by the NHS not Social Services. It won't matter to you really which one provides the care, but one would hope that the CCG would have more understanding of complex, health conditions.)
- read "The National Framework for Children and Young People's Continuing Care", the guidelines for CCGs on how to do the assessment.
There is a Decision Checklist, which they use to make a decision on whether a child or young person meets the criteria for continuing care - there are 10 domains of need.
The guidance says at S 148
"A child is likely to have continuing care needs if assessed as having a severe or priority level of need in at least one domain of care, or a high level of need in three domains of care."
In DC's case, this is going to be the one for seizures - looking at them, if I were you, I would argue that his needs come under severe, seeing as they are life threatening! Also see Annexe A for life threatening conditions.
Children and young people with severe, poorly controlled epilepsy can have a carer at night to watch over them, so their parents can get some sleep. DD got carers from social services under 18, but we now get continuing health care for DD (as she is over 18), and I know another parent, who got continuing care for DS under 18, both for uncontrolled seizures at night, with a high risk of SUDEP. We were offered carers at night to watch over her, while we slept, which we did not want but she had carers in the daytime, so I could catch up on sleep if I wanted. The other family got a carer all night for three nights a week, and one night overnight, plus one weekend a month respite at a specialist medical centre, run by the CCG, while he was in a school with a nurse onsite.
The CCG now funds a specialist epilepsy residential placement for both DD and the other DS, where there is an audio/video monitor in their bedroom, linked to a computer in the office, watched by night staff all night, and I think they use a mattress alarm, plus they physically check on them at regular intervals through the night.
Consultants don't like parents telling them what their professional opinion is, but next time, you see the consultant neurologist, ask them nicely to put in writing about DS' seizures, the risks of what can happen and what care DS needs, in their professional opinion, whatever it is. Nurse assessors at the CCG, or social workers at Social Services are not qualified to ignore what consultant neurologists say!