DS with ASD starting school Sept 2018 - I am feeling overwhelmed

[Hurricane74]

Hi

My son has a diagnosis of ASD and is due to start school next Sept. We are in discussion with the LA about an EHCP and have a Joint Assessment Meeting for early December. I had hoped he would go to a mainstream school and see how it goes, with the option of a school with an autism unit or a SS is things don’t work out. But now am feeling very doubtful a mainstream school could meet his needs. We had a report from the LA yesterday based on observations of him at preschool and it makes such sobering reading. It puts his developmental age at 8-20 months for most areas (he is 40 months) and his understanding and listening skills at 0-11 months. (His moving and handling skills are almost age appropriate). His main issues are social anxiety, sensory issues around noise and his lack of understanding and speech. Has anyone experience of a child with similar issues managing in a mainstream setting? If so, what kind of provision did you ask for and receive? Thanks for reading.

I meant we're all ill! Autocorrect 🙄

Hi Sue that so annoying for you. Have you looked at any other schools incase it's not a good fit? Great that the nursery are so supportive.

Sorry you've been ill seeking! My dd has had an ear infection this week so the house has been full of abject misery!
Have you tried a mega sketcher with your ds? Mine loves his. We do an outline around his favourite toys and then he helps me to fill in the details. He really enjoys wiping it out at the end too. Another thing that has really helped him with dexterity is this:
JT-Amigo Kids Pretend Play Food Toy Set https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01EAK9VVE/ref=cmswwrcppapi_CVvgAbY2EARK5
Very annoying with loads of bits but he really enjoys putting all the decorations in then cutting the cake at the end. He is also hyper mobile.

Yes Mama has the potty training been going better?

Ah liv what an angel you are! I've been trying the blackboard and all kinds of crayons, pens, card, paper and chalk without success. Dug out the mega sketcher (previously always rejected) and we've had a lovely old time with ds shouting out bus numbers, me writing them and him wiping them out (you're so right the wiping bit, it's great for fine motor). He hasn't tried to draw with it yet but he's loved playing around, so thank you! The refusal to contemplate anything remotely connected to writing or drawing has been a bit of a worry as I know he finds them hard because of the hypermobility and is keen to avoid them. I'll keep trying this and I'll try the cake too, that looks great!

Your poor dd, ear infections are the worst! Hope she's on the mend and the misery has lifted. We're all about to get under the blankets and watch the Polar Express as ds is still not right. Hope everyone has a good weekend

Just in case anyone watches it, The Polar Express is quite scary! Ds really loves the book but we only made the first 15 mins of the film. My fault for not knowing it was quite different!

Good to hear from you all. I thought I'd killed the thread. Sympathies seeking we are full of cold here and everyone's veering between Christmas excitement and snotty grumps.

I went to see a couple of local schools and I'm still unsure. A school nearby is Ofsted Outstanding grade and their Ofsted report mentions SEN kids making exceptional progress. The SENCO seemed good and we know people with kids who are happy there. But none of their kids have SEN so it feels less reassuring. This really brings home that you're on a different journey that most ppl.

DS is v bright and probably hyperlexic so academics are important but he completely shuts down under any pressure and is v anxious and easily overwhelmed so we need somewhere calm relaxed and warm.

Mamapants good job tackling the potty training. DS is ok for wees but just poos in nappies (before bed) and isn't dry at night. It was such a struggle to get this far that we've taken the pressure off ourselves. Be kind to yourself I'm sure you're doing well and you'll definitely get there.

Thanks sue this time of year of awful for sickness isn't it? (You definitely haven't killed the thread ).

Your local school sounds great but I totally understand your nervousness about it without knowing any parents there of children with SEN. I hope you manage to find the right kind of nurturing environment for your DS.

Hyperlexia is fascinating isn't it? My DS definitely doesn't have it and he has massive cognitive gaps, but we've recently realised that if you can actually get him to look at what you're showing him (not easy!) he can memorise what he sees. He's suddenly discovered an interest in numbers, phonics and colours (having not known any of them and no colours before he turned 4). That's what makes me think that all of our kids will really push on after 4. It feels like a time for developmental leaps.

Having really slogged to teach him things I'm now trying to do as much as I can as DS will no doubt soon decide he's not playing ball again . I'm wondering about teaching him to sight read as he can memorise but it's also getting him to understand what he reads which is of course the hard part. And all my teacher friends hate the idea as it's phonics central these days. He loves phonics but I just can't see him learning to read that way. But then they don't have a kiddie with SEN and when I point that out they totally get it! Anyway, for now I'm working on DS eating with cutlery not his hands! Spikey profile central here

Have a great day all

V spikey profile here too. We've self referred to OT for sensory stuff as well as fine motor stuff. We've had some success with spoons but nowhere near knife and fork. It's definitely on the list for school prep. The OT has sent us exercises to practice while we wait for an assessment but it's a battle getting him to engage.

DS seems to have cracked phonics by himself which hopefully means school can focus on other stuff. If your DS is able to use his memory skills to crack reading I'd do that. We need to do what works with our kids (when they're willing!)

WE have serious cutlery issues here too! DS even eats soup and custard with his hands. 😬

Ah yes hurricane we've had the fist full of custard too!

Ha, custard and soup made me laugh. It's baked beans with the hands here! Argh! If either of you have a breakthrough, please let me know.

sue thanks for the encouragement, going to give the sight reading a try. Very impressed with your DS and phonics. If only cutlery was as easy

Have you tried Kura care cutlery? I have tried various types of cutlery and my boy has always opted to eat with his hands. Nursery tried Kura cutlery with him last week and were amazed at the difference. I ordered a set which was delivered today and I could hardly believe my eyes at how well he used it. He even ate all his vegetables!

Potty training is still a nightmare here but I have (probably temporarily) refound my calm in relation to it.

Brilliant seeking so glad the megasketcher worked!

My ds will use a spoon for cereal but apart from that he only really eats toast. I have no idea how I'm going to get him to eat proper meals before he goes to school. Although having said that he did apparently eat a whole plate of cabbage with his hands at nursery the other day!

I think phonics/reading may be a while off for us, but then he has made so much progress with his speech in the last couple of months maybe he will surprise me.

Sorry to hear that everyone is suffering with illnesses. That time of year.
Potty training might be pushing it for what we are doing. Just putting him on the toilet once a day. He doesn't seem to have any awareness he is weeing or pooing but at least he is sitting on it and not getting upset.
Just had someone round giving me some advice on things to ask Senco.
So here's a quick summary of what she suggested :
How many will be in the class
What is the class structure like and daily routine
What training would a one to one have
Possibilities regarding dual placement
Ask to observe the class (this can then give you a opportunity to think about what he would struggle with and then you can ask how they would deal with those things)
Think about what you would want for lunch time and break time.
Quiet corners etc
Things im also thinking about but didn't discuss is how they will integrate him into the class, PE, nappies if he's still in them, what will be said to other children.

We also discussed some other stuff such as units locally (all seem to be closing ) discussions to have with his current provision, chasing up various people, disability sports officers to find out about swimming classes etc and family fund.

I'll look into the kura cutlery dimples76 I'm conscious that DS is at an age where table manners are more of an issue and we have plenty of sit down meals coming up over Christmas.

Mamapants thanks for the SENCO advice. If we get the EHCP we'll have a choice of schools but although I've done some normal tours it helps to have a guide for what to focus on at each school in more detail and what to ask for.

That's really useful mamapants thank you.

I'm feeling like we've done much too little research on schools. Realised last night that I'd rejected one as it's religious but actually it's undersubscribed (so we'd get in), Ofsted outstanding, and only 10 minutes walk away... which is mad, isn't it? Anyway OH has called them and got us onto a tour in January just ahead of the deadline but it's scared me that I've missed other ones.

Plus I haven't seen any in our neighbouring borough even though we're right on the edge. Gaaarrrghhh, this is so important, how can it be December nearly and I haven't done this??? Feel so rubbish. It's just that we really thought it was Plan B but even if it was Plan B I should have done more while I was on mat leave to make it a good one.

sigh

Thanks for the list Mama it's really useful.

Lighttripper I know what you mean about the religious schools, I'd pretty much written ours off too! I just want to warn you about going out of your borough. My ds is currently at a nursery in a different borough to where we live (we are on the border of 3 different ones) and it's been very difficult to get any support for him outside of what the nursery provides. For example Salt and ed psych's from our borough won't visit him in his nursery and the borough that the nursery is in won't provide support because we don't live in the area. In theory once a child has an EHCP that shouldn't matter as your LA are legally bound to provide the services but having spoke to quite a few people about it, in reality it often doesn't work. Maybe quiz the schools on that when you visit them.

On another note I did an IPSEA training course today which covered basic SEND law and all the legal stuff surrounding EHCPs. It was really useful and I'm feeling a bit more confident about the process now. It was a whole day thing but I could try and pass on useful links and stuff if anyone's interested once I've gone through my notes again.

Thank you I had actually wondered about that. DD is currently in a private pre-school in a neighbouring Borough (Islington) and the Islington SENCO wouldn't visit her because we love in Hackney. The Hackney SENCO is lovely and did visit her, but I got the impression it's kind of borderline and that she would probably get more visits if she was in Borough. So I think out of Borough is definitely going to be further down the list (especially as I'm not sure we'd get an EHCP) but I probably shouldn't rule them out altogether.

I have started to put together a spreadsheet, which is my answer to most of life's problems, and I'm feeling a bit better!

Lighttripper that's so funny my ds is also in anIslington nursery but we are in Haringey! We obviously quite close by.

You're right spreadsheets are the answer!

Ooooh ... I sense a Finsbury Park playdate when the weather cheers up a bit!?!

Sounds like a plan! (As long as I can stop my ds from running off! )

Hello all. Sorry for the radio silence but we have had fun sharing our germs here and making each other ill in a continuous loop ☹️

I'm definitely going to try the Kura cutlery, thanks dimples. Thanks also mama for the senco advice, really helpful.

I'm also feeling like we've left things late school wise. We have some tours coming up but I still have no feel for where is best for DS. Am hoping I get some inspiration soon.

Right, so there are 3 of us from London here! Happy to come to Finsbury Park one day if you both don't mind a West London interloper

Can I ask a random Christmas question? What are you all getting your kids for Christmas? I'm determined to rein the grandparents in this year (they always go mad) and I'm hoping to give them some ideas of things that DS may actually use!

ps, where is everyone else from?

Hi everyone, sorry I have been so quiet too. Had a couple of school visits and been busy doing prep for a meeting with the LA tomorrow which is part of his assessment for an EHCP. We are in West Yorkshire. Anyone else in our neck of the woods? xx

Thanks dimples for the cutlery tip - I have ordered some so fingers crossed. Can’t even get DS to sit down for dinner at moment and have been chasing him around the living room with a plate feeding him with my hands the last few nights. For Christmas I have ordered a musical marble run, paint, books and some DVDs of his fave tv programmes - Hey Duggie and In the Night Garden!

Also plagued with illness in our house!! Horrible virus going around! We are in Berkshire. Thanks for cutlery tip will order some as well. Has anyone tried the loop device things for pencils which means you hold it correctly?