DD is 6yo, she is wonderful but can sometimes be incredibly challenging. She’s hot tempered and can get violent. I’ve been trying to understand what sparks this. I think she likes control and any threats to her feeling of control makes her stressed, panicked and therefore angry. Triggers include:
⁃ getting dressed (very fussy about clothes, often fixates on one item which she’ll want to wear every single day)
⁃ Needing to be listened to endlessly and exclusively (gets angry when poor DD1 tries to get my attention)
⁃ Making choices (popping into the sweet shop for a treat is a NIGHTMARE)
⁃ Being interrupted when arranging her things (Lego, playmobil etc often all need to be lined up or sorted out before we can leave the house)
⁃ Mini obsessions (picking flowers from neighbours garden, collecting types of stones on the way to School etc)
She has never responded well to traditional discipline - being told off, sent to her room/naughty step etc. That kind of thing tends to make her more distressed so I’ve learnt it’s better to distract her until she’s calmer and then we’ll have a sensible conversation.
On the other hand she’s very socially successful - has little girls trailing after her, can wrap adults around her little finger and seems to be empathetic. I want to know as I want to do whatever I can to make family life calmer. She can get very upset and down on herself after an outburst.