HELP - Too scared to sleep...

[mymatemax]

The last few nights DS2 4 has been hysterical shortly after going to bed.
He says he is scared of sleeping.
He has an undx anxiety disorder, OCD with Autistic traits & mild CP & GDD.
I don't want to start settling him by laying with him, anything he likes becomes a ritual & is very hard to break he is so very routine so I don't want to end up sleeping with him until he is 16.
He isn't scared of his bedroom & is OK within his normal routine of going up to bed, it seems to kick off as he's going off to sleep.
Anyone with anything similar or any ideas please.

Not sure I can help. I am a bit like your DS2 in that I get anxious over very small things at night. Thus I sleep little and once I am asleep am often up again within an hour (or if very lucky 2 hours). Sound I find is what scares me... drips, water flowing through pipes, laptop left on, printer in standby... every little sound!

Agree that laying with him won't help long term and you could end up sleeping with him for years.

Ask him if it is sounds that scare him. Then see if you can minimise as many of those sounds as possible. I sleep with a fridge (I have a studio flat) and I am no longer scared of the fridge, as it has a regular sound cycle so I know when the sound starts, how it will end. However that does not mean I sleep through it, it still keeps me awake and if there is a change in the usual sound pattern, then I get worried.

Sorry, I am probably not being of much help, though may be useful to hear from someone who finds sleeping difficult.

If he says it is sound... does he have a nightlight? Does it have a fluorescent bulb... as those I can hear! Replace with a standard low watt bulb.

Ds2 has a stuffed cow soft toy that he takes everywhere now but this was a fantastic replacement for me in his bed. He thinks 'Daisy' is a real person though and she has to sit at meals with us.

thanks all, he does have a string of night lights & a few special soft toys.
He is very noise sensitive but I can't put my finger on anything specific.
His sleep patterns have been getting worse over the last 6 months or so but this EXTREME reaction is new.
I think it might be starting as he is relaxing enough to fall asleep & maybe he's fighting it.
His speech is OK but he can't really express himself enough to tell us what is going on.

It is hard when they can't tell you what is bothering them. Alas I've found no soluition to that.

Has anything else changed in the past 6 months?
This includes things that you may have brought that generate noise (as you say he is sensitive to noise), especially things in a room below or to the side of his bedroom.
Try keeping a log of when it happens, so that you can establish if it is at the same time each evening. Also worth making a note of time you leave him to go to sleep, to see if it is at the same point in the sleep cycle .

Hi Mymatemax,

I wonder if you have considered using something like 'Relax Kids' Cds?(www.relaxkids.com) I have used these in the past with my DS2 (11 with AS and OCD) and found that he had the best sleeps of his life! He has told me that he has fallen asleep by the 3rd track and has slept right through the night.The CDs run for around 70 mins each and there are loads to choose from. It is a kind of meditation/relaxation therapy for children (all children and starts from toddler age) and I know for sure that it has worked for lots of children!
Hope that helps,
Take care,
Scooby.

Another hour of screams & shaking tonight & it does seem to be when he is drifting off to sleep (stage 1 nannynick) that the fear kicks in, I think I need to find a way to stop it before it becomes a habit even if the initial cause stops IYKWIM.
That website looks good Scooby, I think I'll be placing an order NOW!