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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Anyone with a child with Aspergers?

17 replies

chocolateface · 13/04/2007 15:08

We suspect DS1 may have Aspergers.He hasn't been diagnosed, but the school is having someone observe him (their idea). However, there is no problem with his eye contact, and there never has been. Does this mean he doesn't have Aspergers? I've trawled all the usual sites. Can anyone advise me on this?

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Original poster

chocolateface · 13/04/2007 15:11

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coppertop · 13/04/2007 15:16

Ds2 has AS and generally his eye contact is pretty good. I would say that having good eye contact doesn't necessarily rule out AS.

HTH

Original poster

chocolateface · 13/04/2007 15:40

And is actually having a diagnosis useful?

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coppertop · 13/04/2007 16:04

It's been useful for us as without it I think ds2 would have ended up just being labelled as naughty or difficult.

I suppose it will depend on how old your ds is, whether he needs more help than he's currently getting at school and whether you want/need access to other services or funding. As someone said on here once, a diagnosis is more of a signpost than a label.

Original poster

chocolateface · 13/04/2007 17:33

I don't think he needs more help, just more understanding. Change is really hard for him.I feel as though I'd be able to use my trump card if we had a diognosis:like when he refuses to go to school as it's non uniform day.

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coppertop · 13/04/2007 18:00

In that case I would definitely try to get a diagnosis. It sounds as though it would help make life easier for ds1 and for you.

Original poster

chocolateface · 13/04/2007 19:14

DH insists there is nothing"wrong" with DS
We are waiting for an apt' with Child Mental Health, refered by our GP. What is the best way to get a diagnosis. Should I go private through NAS?

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Aloha · 13/04/2007 19:19

Ask your gp to refer him to a paediatrician who is qualified to diagnose Aspergers. I find a diagnosis very useful, though don't share it with many people. MN is a great outlet though.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 13/04/2007 21:38

Chocolate face,

Would suggest you access the help of a developmental paediatrician (GP can refer you) rather than CAMHS. CAMHS certainly have their place but the field of ASD is not really in their realm of expertise.

See a diagnosis as a signpost to getting more help; not a label in its own right.

Do you think your DH is burying his head in the sand?

Aloha · 13/04/2007 21:40

Fathers often take a logn time to accept their child is different. It is part of the way they love them, I think.

coppertop · 13/04/2007 22:16

Yes it seems to take fathers longer to accept that there might be a problem. We used to have a lot of rows/disagreements about ds1 (ASD) before he got a dx. Dh was convinced that ds1 was fine and I was equally convinced that he wasn't.

I agree that it would be better to see a Paed. I don't have any experience of the private route but there are others on here who have.

Original poster

chocolateface · 13/04/2007 22:27

The thing is, I don't think he needs help, just understanding. The teacher he has this year is brilliant,knows what he's like and will work with him. But I know his teachers won't always be so understanding, and there will be times when he won't be able to cope (or should I say they won't be able to cope with him)
DH thinks DS should pull himself together.He loves him so much and can't bear to think he's less than perfect. The thing is DS does try really hard, to be 'normal'
He will look poeple in the eye, smile and say goodbye, but it's very learnt; my other 2 C's are so differnent socially.

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coppertop · 13/04/2007 22:37

Having someone who understands can make a huge difference IME. Ds1 (6) doesn't have any real 1:1 help in the classroom but it's really helpful that his teacher understands why he sometimes gets upset over things that would seem insignificant to anyone else. The other issue to consider is whether your ds1 might need extra help/understanding as he moves further through the school system, especially at secondary school. It might be helpful if he already has a diagnosis.

Original poster

chocolateface · 14/04/2007 17:11

Any advice on discipline? I seem to have spent the day yelling "can you tell I'm cross" to a bewildered little face.

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coppertop · 14/04/2007 17:44

What kinds of things is your ds1 doing?

A lot depends on whether it's something my two know is wrong, or whether it's something they can't really help or don't understand.

Original poster

chocolateface · 14/04/2007 17:53

To be honest, it's mostly been DS2 being a scamp, but they've both been spraying the hosepipe (a lot) after told them to stop. DS1 told DS2 Dh had bought him a light sabre, then claimed he didn't know it was his birthday pressent. Grrrrr!

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JeanieG · 14/04/2007 18:52

Chocolate face- you sound just like myself. I continually find myself shouting at a bewildered face. I am soo frustrated at the moment and don't really know what to do for the best.

We have just been given a dx after 4 years of hounding various people.

I just really need some help on how to best deal with him- without shouting and so that he understands.

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