Am I asking too much of school??

[1805]

Dd (y8) has dx of ASD. She presents 'normally' at school, but doesn't like going. I have histrionics most mornings and many refusals to go to school. Sometimes I manhandle her into the car and take her, sometimes I can't take the risk of having her in the car and I might get her in to school later on (around lunch, or even as late as 2.30pm).
Her attendance this term is 57%.
I have asked the SEN team to review dd's school profile, but no one has got back to me. This was 2 weeks ago. I have phoned, e mailed, waited at school, and spoken to year group leader, assistant head, who all say I have to go through the SEN team, but they just don't get back to me.

What I want, is that the teachers make sure dd has a positive experience at school in the lessons. i.e. Not asking her questions when she doesn't have her hand up, and having a 'hands-on' doing, type way of learning, with activities to physically do during the lessons. She responds well to impromtue activities, and dislikes routine.

Is this too much to ask?

How can I help dd to like school? Or just so that she is prepared to go to school.

If she has a diagnosis of ASD how is she supported in school? If she hides her difficulties and presents a good face the school may believe she doesn't really have any issues and therefore not being pro-active in getting back to you. However I am amazed that with an attendance record of only 57% the school itself isn't more active in searching out the issues. Which LEA are you with? Do you have a local ASDOT (autism spectrum outreach team) or any local ASD support you can access? As a senco in a secondary school I came across this quite often and my local ASDOT were so helpful with visiting me and the home and suggesting strategies which were mainly to do with managing anxiety which is probably what your daughter is struggling with. If not I suggest you try again to make an appointment with the senco, year gead and deputy responsible for pastoral care. Phone again and again until someone takes notice of you. Your daughter is not getting the education she needs and deserves. Best wishes.