Any advice, please?

[ari11]

I'll try and keep this as brief and concise as possible but apologies if I start to ramble as I am at the end of my tether.
7yr old ds (possible Autism?PDA/ADHD confirmed sensory difficulties) has been under the care of the paediatrician since he started reception but no confirmed diagnosis as yet, awaiting outcome from connors questionnaire, social communication questionnaire and school observation by Paediatrician due in October. He has had previous involvement by OT, Ed Psch and PRU at the infants and he had a fantastic yr 1 and yr 2 (teachers amazing and really got to know him/what worked/didn't work etc) and he needed no additional support. Fast forward a few months and since then he has had a horrendous transition to Junior school, melt down on day 1 resulting in him trashing a classroom. School had provided a 1:1 but no experience in behavioural problems so 1:1 was changed. He then had an exclusion in week 2 as he used aggressive behaviour, refused to follow instructions, pushed and grabbed other children. Finally he has been excluded from today as they changed where he was sitting in his classroom yesterday which he was not happy about then he didn't want to sit there again today so he ran out of the classroom, teacher held the door closed so he didn't get out which resulted in him hitting her. When speaking to the HT today she said she would exclude him for a day and a half but after speaking to the LA Exclusions and Reintegration team this was changed to 2.5 days as the lady who deals with Primary exclusions doesn't work on a Friday and they need to have a meeting before ds returns to school!!!! School have applied for high needs block funding, referred ds to CAHMS and referred to PRU outreach for support but say there is not much more they can do. I really feel that they are not meeting his needs at present which is why he is being excluded and have contacted the local sendiass to see if they can come to the reintegration meeting. I have had almost no contact with his teachers (2 part time teachers) apart from on transition day and I really question there committment due to the lack of communication from them. This also concerns me as the Ed Psych has previously put in her reports how important it is for my ds to have a good relationship and rapport with his teachers. Communication with the 1:1 has been minimal too. All communication has been through the sendco/HT. On a positive note the HT said they will definitely consider applying for a EHCP which we have been fighting for since infants. My dilemma is do I move my ds to another mainstream school which is smaller/quieter but may be better able to meet his needs but means it would take him away from his friends and older sister or do we stay put to see if things will improve and also get the EHCP ball rolling. I would appreciate any advice or if anyone has had similar experiences, feeling very alone at the moment . At home my son is by no means perfect but we are able to manage his behaviour fairly easily and he is a funny, gorgeous, caring amazing little boy who doesn't display the extreme behaviour he does at school. I have used strategies from the explosive child book which have proved to be very successful (if only school had a copy!)

I have two ds's. ds1 was permanently excluded at 10. And his twin had lots of fixed term exclusions so I can empathize.

My feeling is that once a school starts excluding they are saying they can not cope. In our experience the exclusions increased the challenging behaviour because it increased my ds's stress and anxiety. So to help the school need to try and work out strategies to lower anxiety instead.

I would take control of the situation and apply yourself for the EHCP preferably today rather than waiting for the HT to do it. I would also start looking around at alternative schools. Some are much better at supporting children with an ASC than others so just because your ds is not thriving in this one does not mean he could not do well in another. If there are any parenting support groups around you they are a great place to ask about how well different schools support children with an ASC.

We had a similarly awful transition to Juniors (altho Infants wasn't a walk in the park either!). DS (ASD / PDA profile) was put on a part time timetable almost immediately. He also had 1:1 from the start, but she was very junior (first ever placement).

I think you need a school who will work with you / listen and think creatively, and you often get a feeling whether they will do this or not (your DS sound similar to mine and bespoke and understanding is the key).

In hindsight the autism team should have been more involved with the transition and school were just very under prepared for someone like DS.

BUT, they were willing to work with me, they didn't exclude him (just did the part time timetable which whilst wasn't great gave DS time to adjust and me and school time to build our case and shout for support)

To give you some hope (hopefully), where we are now in year 4:

The SENCO is / was amazing and supported us in the EHCP application (which DS now has - I did have to appeal to get non assessment decision overturned, but that seems sadly v common).

The TA has been so quick and keen to learn - she has accepted all advice offered and now understands DS so well and is such a great advocate for him.

As part of his EHCP he does 2 days off site in an alternative provision (like a forest school), which he loves, and doing this enables him to cope better with the 3 days at school (still not quite full time, but we're working on it).

Our LA case worker has also been v good, plus the OT and autism team and they all genuinely work as a team and think creatively (the forest school thing has never been tried by our LA before but they were willing to give it a go)

I do recognise it was all only possible because I don't currently work so was available for a million pick up and drop offs a day (it felt like).

Everyone is also very forgiving of DS - he his own worst critic and after exploding is very remorseful - we all don't dwell and briskly say we'll try again tomorrow, then confer on email amongst ourselves on and triggers / patterns etc.

It is all quite Explosive Childy tbh (even tho I don't think school have read it).

Some staff are better than others with him, but the SENCO / HT recognise that and do tend to stop the 'old school' types working with him as it never goes well.

Sorry this is long (as usual for my posts).

In essence, finding a flexible, inclusive school can make all the difference. I think DS will prob go to a specialist secondary (maybe a ASD unit), but for now this is working ok.

Thank you both so much for your replies and advice. Have had a busy afternoon, school sent the paperwork to apply for EHCP which I have started to complete, I have contacted the paediatrician who will bring school observation forward to next week, I have requested that the school involve/invite the Educational Psychologist to the reintegration meeting on Wednesday as she made recommendations re: transtition which were mostly ignored. My gut is telling me that they are not the most flexible or creative of schools so I have already identified other schools in the area which I am planning to visit in the near future, one of which has an ARP attached but no vacancies at present. Not having had any experience of the EHCP process once the assessments have been completed is a recommendation made to the best possible setting to meet ds's needs or is it about how much support he will be entitled to or both? I think I have a lot of reading to do, and am not sure how much longer I can continue to work and meet his needs at the same time which financially maybe a bit of a struggle.

Marshmellow09er - it was so lovely to hear about your ds and how well he is doing in year 4 - it gives me hope that the right attitude and setting can work. It sounds like he is supported by a great team.......and mum of course!! Thanks again

I'd strongly suggest you get your own request for EHCP sent in as the school may take a long time to finalise this and lodge it. There's information on the IPSEA website about how to do it.

The school acted unlawfully in extending the fixed term exclusion, and they are also failing to comply with their duties under the Equality Act 2010 in relation to making reasonable adjustments for disability. It could be worth reminding them of that and possibly using your right to ask the governors to review the exclusion to focus their minds on these issues.

Hey,. OP, please put in paragraphs to break up the text and make it easier to read.

Apply for an EHCP yourself. Do not leave it up to the school. It is easy enough to do, and I'll bet there is quite a bit more that school could do tbh.

I'll try and keep this as brief as possible. 8-yr old ds (with ASD diagnosis at age about 4) in a good sn school in Surrey area. Tried doing early intervention ourself between 2013 to 2014, no obvious progress despite great efforts from mum. During this period, mum had suffered a lot mentally and physically. From 2014, he was admitted to this sn school. We felt it was a very good school. But development hasn't been seen and we realized that he is the most disadvantaged child in his class, barely any vocalisations. The class has limited access to SaLT and OT every week, then even less share to him. The head kept saying that language is not the most important thing for an ASD child. But now we're really worrying that we haven't provide enough support to his language development. We were wondering whether it is too late to make intervention again. But we felt we must do something now to give it another go with private lessons and try to move him to another school with ABA and more emphasis to SaLT.

Can anyone advise on good SaLT in Surrey area and possibly private lesson (ABA friendly)? Many thanks.

Sorry to op for my previous message. I meant to start a new thread.