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SN children

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Original poster

oh God we provided the sideshow on the beach today

22 replies

gess · 03/04/2007 22:35

I thought it would be reasonable to go back to the car as I knew ds2 and ds3 (plus my mum and helper) were waiting to get in. Ds1 thought it was entirely unreasonable to be expected to do anything other than walk in exactly the opposite direction. We had a tussle, he punched me a few times in the neck (cue jaws dropping to floor from fellow beachees), bit his hands, screamed very loudly (just in case someone was missing the sidewhow "i could hear you but couldn't see you" as my Mum said later), then he got a nose bleed, I had to drag him across the sand, blah blah blah, lots of "oh my you're a big boy and shouldn't be making that sort of noise" type comments.

Usual day out.

Why do I never get used to it?????

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mymatemax · 03/04/2007 23:01

Oh poor you, how is your neck?
DS2 had a "sit in" in the middle of the hospital corridor today, taking him to Orthotics when one of those electric car things that tow the meal wagons came towards him, he dropped to the floor like a plank covering his head obviously petrified. I tried to pick him up & put him in his mjr buggy, but he was stiff & wouldn't bend & the buggy kept rolling away.
DS1 thought it was hilarious & was no help at all. I just kept my head down & pretended there was nobody else there.

Original poster

gess · 03/04/2007 23:08

The neck's OK thanks- he;s always hitting it these days (pinching no longer gets a response so he's trying punching). I hate it when they go all stiff (or floppy!) Nightmare- hope the appointment went well. Luckily the last few trips to A&E the staff have been wonderful and ds1 has been whisked through super speedy with no waiting (very grateful for my part).

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tobysmumkent · 03/04/2007 23:10

Message withdrawn

Original poster

gess · 03/04/2007 23:12

oh it was quite a good trip otherwise. All fairly normal, and some good points-I just wish people wouldn't bloody stare with their mouths wide open- it's that that I find difficult (still). I don;t mind ds1 kicking off reallly- it's the sideshow aspect iykwim!

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Soapbox · 03/04/2007 23:13

Gosh that sounds tough - he must be getting quite big now - in terms of landing punches that can really hurt and in terms of dragability

I imagine you are quite used to the sideshow element by now - really what does it matter what a bunch of stangers think?

Original poster

gess · 03/04/2007 23:14

oh and I know what you ean about having to provide "fun" for the others!

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Original poster

gess · 03/04/2007 23:16

Well I drag him, then he drags me, then I drag him, then he drags me. I've been teaching him to stop when we wants to change direction, point and say "dee die" (this way), which he does. But can I get him to turn around and go my way, no I cannot. This was second time this week. All the usual tricks (countdowns, visual reinforcement, promise of reinforcers etc did not work).

I HATE the staring, I really don't mind the behaviour- we have disagreements of that sort often, but its the gawping. Will never get used to it.

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mymatemax · 03/04/2007 23:18

He was a little angel during his appnt, didn't murmer, which surprised me as he usually hates casting... I suppose thats what makes these outings all the more fun.. they are so unpredictable

Blu · 03/04/2007 23:19

bring back Punch and Judy on the beaches, that' what I say - give 'em something to gawp at!
Sorry it ended like that, Gess.

Soapbox · 03/04/2007 23:20

Gess

All those slack jaws, in just a toss of a coin, could be in exactly the same position as you are! You shouldn;t have to get used to it, really, should you

Aloha · 03/04/2007 23:21

Oh Lord gess. Had a very similar thing with dd at London Zoo when she didn't want to get off the bouncy castle. But she is two and portable, which is a huge difference. What made him give in in the end?

Original poster

gess · 03/04/2007 23:23

He didn't give in, I dragged him across the beach, then managed to find my mum who helped me to drag him across the car park car, once he was in his seat he calmed down and only complained a little.

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 03/04/2007 23:31

oh bugger gess

Aloha · 03/04/2007 23:34

Oh lordy. The whole transition thing sounds really hard for him - and for you! How do you feel now?

Original poster

gess · 04/04/2007 08:28

hmmm he doesn't have that much problem with transitions (providing they're counted down to). This refusing to turn around seems to be a new thing (did it on Saturday as well). Bit of a dilemma as I want to work on the "this way" thing, but do not want to have a scrap every time we need to turn around. On Saturday he wanted to go into a really rough area (which was OK as it was during the day) but also with no shortcuts home- if I'd not forced him to turn around - another spectacle - we would have been stuck on about a 5 mile circuit to get home. DH and the other children were waiting for us at home- we'd already been out for 40 minutes etc etc.

He loves being outside, and I suspect he just doesn't want to go home (which I can understand, it's pretty boring for him often at home). Going for a walk is probably about the most exciting thing he does I guess.

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eidsvold · 04/04/2007 11:41

sorry it ended up like that - gawkers make me cross. If it is any consolation - I seem to be observing gawkers who seem to need something to look at iyswim - shame it was you and ds.

You shouldn't have to get used to it - other people should behave with some decency and respect.

luckylady74 · 04/04/2007 22:07

just adding an aside to this gess as i know we've talked about our ds's lack of interests. i looked at what my ds does at home and if it's not destructive it's aimless lolling - he never wants to come home because home is boring. so i've tried to collect his 'interests' - we now have a collection of pictures of urinals and hand dryers from plumbers merchants catalogues - yes really. we've also got together photo albums of favourite / familiar places and now instead of lolling he's flicking through these. a small step, but a nice one!

Original poster

gess · 05/04/2007 08:05

Oh that sounds like ds1. His favourite thing at the moment is a book that has pictures of the city now and in previous years (the 2 photos side by siide if you know what I mean). He loves looking at that. I have a photo album of mumsnetters washing machines as well

I've found as he's got older (and especially now he's kept busy at school all day) he wants more interaction, and more things to do but still can't do anything at all himself iyswim. He is getting a few hours of ABA each day this holiday which is helping, but he's just a big outdoorsy boy at the moment. Unfortunately things like the slide have had to be taken down as he was trying to use that to lean over our very high fence, and it was too dangerous. He's standing on the playhouse roof at the moment, looking at the city skiyline.

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onlyjoking9329 · 05/04/2007 21:05

sorry you had the audience, you should come out with us, they wouldn't know where to look first, we are often the free entertainment. i take my three to meet up with three of the girls from my DD's SN school for tea on a friday, ikea or morrisons, we do get a lot of stares, i tell my lot it is because they are so beautiful people can't stop looking at them.
sometimes me and the other two mums just sit and stare back at them

sphil · 05/04/2007 23:05

We are just starting to get this now. All DS2 does which is unusual is occasional flapping and frequent putting his hands over his ears but it seems to be the most fascinating thing in the world for some people. Oh and he scavenges other peoples' picnics, which doesn't seem to be regarded as cute any more now that he's four!

I definitely get the 'why isn't she controlling her child' stare, the 'why isn't she rescuing her child he's obviously distressed' stare. Atm I tend to avoid eye contact and give all my attention to DS2 - but I can feel future rudeness coming on.

Original poster

gess · 06/04/2007 07:06

ha ha ds1 goes for other people's food as well. He also sniffs other people's foood (and is soooo fast). Luckily the last time he did that, the old lady whose sandwiches he sniffed thought it hilarious (I thought she might be a lemon sucker but not at all).

I have the manpower to take him out 2 adults :1 today, so we are going to try something ambitious (if I can think of something ambitious but not unrealistic).

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mummy2aaron · 06/04/2007 07:26

I have the same thing with ds2 now needing more interaction Gess which is hard with DD needing help with her talking.

Shame about your trip to the beach but you are right to still do 'normal' family things, I still come across people who think because a child is 'awkward' in some public situations they should stay at home, ds2 is awkward everywhere not just in public lol.

OOoo sniffing food my nt 8 year old does that.

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