Neighbours have complained about DD's meltdowns. Don't know what to do?

[Afflictus]

I have several threads about DD(9) under different NNs. She has violent meltdowns and is suicidal and destructive. I suspect maybe ASD but CAMHS are saying its attachment issues. I've not really had any real help with methods to deal with her although lots of professionals involved right now.

Over the summer she has improved in that we've had several days without meltdowns but as the summer holidays are coming to an end she has ramped up the anxiety and meltdowns. I had a really difficult morning with her this morning.

I've always got on OK with my neighbours. We live in terraced housing with very thin walls so I've always been aware that this is affecting them. At times they have banged on the walls in response. We have made DD write apology notes before now.

I came home today to find a hand written note basically asking me to stop my girls from banging doors and screaming/shouting. My neighbour has moved her elderly mum in recently and apparently it is scaring her. I would like to move as the house is too small anyway but that simply isn't an option at the moment. My neighbours aren't perfect either - one side has a dog that barks a lot and the other side has in the past had screaming rows and physical fights (I had to call the police once as it sounded really dangerous) but otherwise I've never complained. I don't think they should have to put up with it but I don't know what to do.

Has anyone got any advice for me please?

I would explain to your neighbours that it is likely your dd has SN's and you are currently seeking support and assessment from CAMHS which hopefully will reduce the problem. In the meantime you will try and reduce the problem (you could ask for specifics eg times or what sort of noises are causing the issues). We did this and our neighbours have luckily been very understanding.

Diversion is not always possible to a less noisy activity in a meltdown but you could try this approach e.g. we used to try and get ds1 on the trampoline when he was at simmering point of a meltdown. (mind you a trampoline is a bone of contention for many people as well so perhaps not the ideal option).