How do your high functioning autistic little ones react to being comforted after hurting themselves??

[Blossom4538]

Dd just had nasty fall. I didn't panic but calmly asked if she was okay as I knew I needed to be careful with my tone of voice. She got extremely cross and worked up, trying not to cry but on verge and clearly upset, hit, scratched and bit me and shouted that she was okay and why to I always ask she's okay!!! I then said don't scratch etc and I know she's okay (just to reassure her and calm her), picked her up and just cuddled and rubbed her back quietly for five mins or so while she looked out the window. She calmed down completely and a little later was happy to talk calmly about where she hurt herself.

Just wondering if this type of behaviour seems familiar. She is under assessment for ASD.....it was quite an extreme reaction to a normal Mum comforting, checking all was okay response to a fall!!

My ds (asd) gets extremely angry at the world in general, furious that furniture exists if he bumps into a chair, ranting at God for inventing weather if he slips on a wet surface.
He would respond better to me saying "did you hurt yourself", or "point to where it's hurting", than saying something like "are you ok?" which would absolutely set him ranting. I'm not sure I can put my finger on the difference, maybe it's too ambiguous?
Everything has to be someone's fault (e.g. mine for owning a chair) but while I wouldn't get far comforting him verbally (arguing from his perspective), he lets me physically comfort him with a hug and a kiss, or a sit on my lap.

My DD (age 5 and ASD) hates being fussed over when she hurts herself. She can't even cope with me expressing any concern about her if she falls let alone being physically comforted. She gets really angry, anxious and agitated.

I find it really hard because I have to go against all my natural instincts. But it's just how she is.

Everything just gets 'oopsy daisy' in a horrendously happy camper tone (even when there's lots of blood).

I have to pretend nothing has happened. I wait a minute or so. Then I suggest a hug. Or wait some more.

I have similar traits to your children and dislike "are you ok?" Intensely even now.

Happy to try to articulate this if it helps.

With my own kids I instinctively say "you got hurt" or say nothing and hold them.