discussing asd diagnosis with kids - advice ?

[littleoldme]

So, my 6 yo ds had his asd diagnosis confirmed today. I knew it was coming but am still reeling slightly. My older ds is 9; we have talked a bit about his brother's 'little ways' but just wondering how other people have dealt with this ?

Also - do we talking to younger ds about his autism or wait until he asks. Feel a bit up in the air with it all.

This is Rosie King's short film which would be ideal:

Thank you ! That video will be really helpful. The psychologist also talked about focusing on the positives. I was expecting the diagnosis so not sure why it has come as such a shock !

There's a nice little book by the National Autism Society on telling your child. I used it to make a little photo book, as I think visual and written down can be easier to manage for some ASC kids. It also helped me to keep the focus really positive. She loves it, and she immediately started talking about what was good for autistic people and what wasn't good. It's been really good for her to have this identity and understand herself. We also read 'I'm an Aspie Girl' and she occasionally flicks through 'My Autism Heroes'.

I have a 9 yo dd who was diagnosed 2 years ago. We shared her diagnosis instantly. It was much easier bc she had and still has v challenging behaviour, inc. self harming, dd as much as her siblings needed to know that ASD was at the root of her difficulties.

In our house we call these challenges or struggles, and this is how we define it for other children at school. Dd4 was diagnosed last week, and at 5, we also feel that we can't tell her straight away (autism for her is when older dd is is violent, screaming etc etc. Like you, we are pointing out her struggles (temper ATM, but friendship issues at school), highlighting her strengths ( swimming, starting to get cartwheels and really good reader). We will keep doing this over the next month or so, then probably tell her. For us, the additional challenge is to distinguish that autism is different in wAys s 5 yo can understand, esp when she lives with a sibling with autism.

One thing I would offer is that I genuinely believe my dd experiences more joy/ more intense joy than NT people and I make sure she understands this. The world is both more scary and more amazing for her. Some great suggestions here already