Not sure how much more I can take

[Msqueen33]

I'm really finding my youngest tough to cope with. She's four diagnosed with asd and that will be followed by a diagnosis of ADHD I think. Her sister has asd and ADHD also. Her other sister is NT.

Her language is appalling according to speech because we're not moving forward fast enough all we get is 15 hours a year. Barely anything. She's due to go to mainstream in September thankfully with a ft 1:1 but I haven't a clue how or if she will cope. The LEA have said they want her in mainstream for now. She cries constantly and is never ever happy. She's also got coeliac which doesn't help.

In the last few years she's changed beyond recognition. She's inflexible, rigid, anti social and sad. I just don't know what to do any more. We have two private behaviour sessions a week. But her language is just so so slow.

And I'm just so tired and scared.

I'm also worried about my seven year old. Her self esteem is low and I'm sure she has either dyslexia or dysgraphia. I don't know how much more I can take. I just want my girls to be happy.

That sounds tough. No advice really but didn't want your post to go unanswered. Can you find some other local mums with kids on the spectrum? It's helped me massively

Didn't want to just read and run, I have two ds on the spectrum and a third who we think may be as well.
We noticed the biggest change in our middle ds when he started school, he had very little speech up to that point and he really struggled with behaviour, screaming constantly and was really frustrated.
School totally changed things, he thrived on the consistency of it and his speech improved hugely with being in a wider group of kids. He modelled their speech and came on leaps and bounds.
Only thing is they're on school hols now and he's not coping well with the lack of routine but only two weeks left now and they're back to school here in Scotland!

@tartanterror thanks for replying. There's no kids with our type of issues at school (it's a very mainstream type and doesn't have a lot of children with additional needs. We're not in the greatest area for provision).

@bigfatmeanie that's really reassuring thank you. I think this first year in mainstream is kill or cure I suppose. I'm hoping her speech will really ramp up. Having coeliac has meant she's been very nutrient deprived which hasn't helped. I just think how different she was two years ago and feel so sad that she finds life so hard. One of the main reasons we opted for mainstream was that her peers using language would help her. I'm just thankfully we've got a 1:1 and we had her for my other dc and she's wonderful.

Good luck with the rest of the holidays. We have five and a half weeks to go 😮

Does she have an EHC Plan?

I would suggest you also make a formal application for a care assessment under section 17 Children Act 1989. This may lead to extra help, e.g. respite care or help in the home. Local authorities have a duty to do care assessments for children in need, the definition of children in need includes children with disabilities, and both your children qualify as disabled. They may try to say they are not disabled "enough" but that is nonsense: the only criteria that matter are those in the Children Act and they clearly meet those.

Yes thankfully she does have an ehcp and it does have funding attached so she'll have someone with her at all times at school.

I'll look into that thank you. I've also made enquiries about a private salt. I should have done it sooner but have been distracted and we've got two key workers one who does similar to what our salt (when we see her does) but I'd like her under a proper therapist.

OP My DS is in mainstream school. You might be surprised at how many people are struggling away quietly under the radar. Although I meant seeing if you could find others local to you via Facebook or local parents forum. Or start your own group?