hello all
I was wondering if anyone would mind giving their views, gut feelings on this. I'm sorry, it might be a bit long...
DS1 (4) has always been quite a demanding child. Until he was 2, he would never entertain himself and wanted to be carried/entertained a lot. He learnt how to speak very early. He is now in the nursery class of local school. He generally enjoys it (certainly never complains about going!) However since he joined in September he has repeatedly got into trouble. Initially it was "naughty" behaviour like messing around with things he shouldn't be touching, taking photos off walls, not listening attentively at story time, etc. Not all the time but every so often. Or he would be reluctant to join in group activities such as singing (even though he loves music). However, since Christmas this has now developed into things such as saying "shut up" or "i don't like you" or "i'm going to kill you" (!). The other day he hit a little girl. When I asked why he said "because I didn't want her to play with us." This behaviour is usually in the context of playing games (e.g. DS and someone else chasing other children around the playground) but it's almost as if DS doesn't know where to stop or where to draw the line between pretend and reality. For example, the other morning he asked me "are Ninja turtles good?" (he hasn't seen them on TV but knows about them from other children). When I said "Yes, they're goodies", he said "well, if they're good why do they use swords?" I was a bit taken aback(i actually think it's a good valid question but it's quite tricky to answer. ditto questions about whether soldiers are good...hmmm...)
Obviously this behaviour is very worrying and the teachers have now indicated that they think we should take this further, get DS assessed, etc. The teachers have told me that DS really loves teaming up with someone (often someone a bit younger, someone willing to go along with his plans...) to get up to mischief. I don't know if this is maybe his way of trying to make friends?
DS speaks very well, asks lots of questions and is interested in a wide variety of subjects. I've always loved the fact that he's so talkative and curious about the world. He gets along better with adults and his teacher has also picked up on this. They said he is brilliant one-on-one and pretty well behaved in a "small group, that is directed." It is when they are allowed free play that his worst behaviour occurs. (ie He's not being watched that closely!) I do think he's bright (don't we all?!) and possibly bored (not that that is a valid excuse!) There are close to 40 children in the classroom so limited scope for individual attention.
He can be upset by seemingly little things (latest: becoming very distraught if left in his car seat while we, say, go back in the house to get something we've forgotten.)
The teachers have NOT put a label on this behaviour although the HV has mentioned the possibility of Aspergers. Clearly he can't be diagnosed on a public form but I would be very grateful if anyone has thoughts on this behaviour. many many thanks in advance. I would really like to get to the bottom of why he is behaving this way.
chisigirl