School Management of DS 'issues' - am I jsut naive?

[oliandjoesmum]

Sorry to be posting again with more questions, since I took the step to post initially I haven't stopped! I just need to ask opinions on school's behaviour policy. I am totally open to people saying it is reasonable, and I have to accept discipline for him, but just want to ask. I have posted on Education boards also. 2 big incidents (amongst many many minor ones) I need advice on:

1. DS teacher decided one day to divide the class in to 'naughty' and 'good' children, The idea was that the 'goods' could see how not to behave, and the 'naughties' could get some tips. Guess which group DS was in . Is this helpful/ normal? She is very reluctant for any of the less able children to be made to feel that others are cleverer than them, so why does the behavioural thing get treated differently? The kids who can hardly read don't get told 'come over here and look at Joseph (DS1, age 6) reading a Year 5 book, isn't he clever compared to you!!

2. I have posted previously about DS kicking a playtime assistant. I KNOW (and he now knows) it was very wrong, but was triggered by a scenario that I had told the school in his IEP/ School Action would be problematic for him. Anyway.... he tells me yesterday that he 'picked Henry' for his special staying in friend today. Hey???? I then glean that since the kicking incident (2 weeks ago) he has not been allowed out for a single playtime, and has to choose a friend to stay in with him. I knew absolutely NOTHING about this. Do you think I should know? Is it a helpful/ fair length of punishment? What about the 'picked' child, don't think I would be wildly happy if I was there parent! He has been trying so hard to be good, and I have noticed marked improvements, but he doesn't seem to be rewarded in any way for these efforts.

I feel like I am going mad, and it is just me sat there fighting his corner against the world. His words to me ' they are trying to kill me at school'.

I coudln't find your education thread and I know I'm not supposed to post here because I dont' have an SN child, but I am shocked at the "naughty"/"good" thing. I'd complain, probably in writing, and I don't even think either DC would get put in the "naughty" camp. It's just a horrible thing to do, labelling children like that. No it's not normal, I've never heard this before.

The whole naughty/good thing does not sit easy with me at all. If it was my son I would complain in writing. Surely this is going to causde all sorts of segregation issues and leading to possible bullying and some children being made to feel very inadequate. NOt good at all.

Also I feel you should have been informed and also consulated about appropriate forms of punishment for the kicking incident.2 weeks is a hell of a long time for achild to have no play time.

Form what you have posted it seem sthat they are very mcuh homing in on all the negatives and not giving praise where priase is due especially if he is making changes and improving and putting in the effort.

Speak with the school and see what they have to say, i know how it feels to feel like the only one fighting but we have to and we'll do it time after time.

I hope your satisfied with the school response.

Scenario one to me is completely unacceptable. Infact I would go as far to say that this was a complete waste of time and effort. I would follow up any verbal complaint you make in writing.

Scenario two. Would say that School Action Plus is not effective; SA plus does not give any playground support and little more in class. You should have been told by the school rather than DS about his exclusion from playtimes.

On a wider level have you applied for a Statement for your DS?. Parents have far more power than school does in this regard. This may well be worth considering now as this would be a legally binding document that the school would have to abide to (unlike SA plus).

Ultimately you may have to look at another school; am uncertain whether this school are fully willing to work with him even if he obtains a Statement.

I haven't seen the thread in Education but the situation sounds awful. Dividing the children into good and naughty is just plain wrong IMHO.

Apologies if you've already answered these questions on your other thread but why did ds need another child with him? Were they being supervised by a member of staff?

Obviously he needed to know that the kicking was wrong but the punishment seems excessive. The cynical side of me is wondering whether it was more designed to show the kicked assistant that 'justice' was being done rather than to teach ds that his behaviour was wrong.

And don't apologise for posting on here.