Is it possible to be a 'little bit ASD'??

[oliandjoesmum]

I know I should just wait for the professionals to do there bit but I can't help worrying constantly about what is 'wrong' with my son, and once I know I will be able to know what I can do to best help him. I read constantly abolut ASD/PDD/ADHD/childhood depression and I am completely bemused as to what the problem actually is. I'm certain he isn't just 'naughty' because I watch him try so hard to do things like football. Physically he can do it brilliantly and he runs on all smiles, having a great laugh with his mates. But as soon as tackling/ being hit by the ball etc occurs he just can't cope. He either curls up on the floor, runs away, or lashes out. I watched exactly the same behaviour at swimming yesterday when he found something hard, tho he really tried to get it right because he didn't want to upset me. He has good eye contact, can concentrate for hours, and is wonderfully kind and patient to his brother. We also had two really succesfull play dates this week. But then there is all the other 'negative' behaviour, the school action plus, and all the other stuff I have posted about before. Is it possible to just have some traits which can be managed with help? I'm going to have to go private to try and get some answers as the uncertainty is unbearable. I keep on doing the diagnostic checklists etc, but nothing fits exactly. His Head teacher is also certain it is neither ASD or ADHD, but having read so much on here about all of your children, I wonder whether she just doesn't have experience of children on different point os the Autism spectrum. It really isn't very helpful because my DH just accepts her opinion as the voice of authority, and wants to believe that means there isn't a problem. Please help!!!

Yes.

Its called traits of and is very, very common.

But the important parts are the socail interaction / empathy and it doesn't sound as if your son has this problem?

Now, its not unusual for a boy not to be able to cope with things he cant do but if he's on school action there is clearly other things going on.

I have a suggestion.

Have a look at www.bibic.org.uk

They're fab, and not as expensive as other routes to help. their report helped us get DS1's diagnosis, so although they won't give you one they can help wtowards that andmroe importantly give you real strategies to change things.

The thing is, also, that all children with ASDs are different. They often do not tick "all the boxes" and it really takes a professional to diagnose it. Your DSs head teacher is not qualified to say one way or the other, so if you have concerns I would say definitely get a proper assessment done.

Hi agree with Tiggiwinkle on this one.

The HT certainly should not be trying to "diagnose", that is outside their area of professional competence.

I was told by the school that DS might be mildly on the spectrum but that I would be unlikely to get a diagnosis as he was not bad enough. However I could see he was having more and more problems at school so decided to push for diagnosis. The paediatrician did not have any problems diagnosing him and I have found this very helpful in getting more help for him. Remember it is a "spectrum" so there is a broad range of behaviours exhibited. Since diagnosis I have accepted that DS's "odd" behaviour is part of being on the ASD.

I know it is tempting to stick your head in the sand, my ex dh was not keen on getting ds disagnosed. However I think it has helped me and others to understand where ds is coming from and offer appropriate support. Also I don't expect as much out of him as I would if he was NT which has improved our relationship a lot.

I agree that the Head doesn't have the necessary experience or knowledge to say that a child doesn't have ASD or ADHD - unless they are secretly moonlighting as a Paediatrician.

As Tiggiwinkle says, not all children will be able to tick all the boxes. Both of my boys have a diagnosis of autism after having a full assessment by a Paed, Child Psych, SALT etc but I bet there are still people who look at them and think "They can't really be autistic because they do/don't do X,Y,Z". I think you would need to speak to someone who has both knowledge and experience to find out one way or the other whether there is a problem.

IME fathers are often reluctant to accept that there might be a problem. It may be that your dh is hanging on to the Head's words as a way of not having to consider the possibility that something might be wrong. My dh is fine now about it all but it was a different story back when I was first concerned about ds1.

The part of your post about your ds curling up on the floor etc reminds me of the way ds1 used to react if anyone tried to throw something to him. I particularly remember when the OT tried to assess his catching skills but got nowhere because everytime she threw the beanbag ds1 dived on to the floor.

I hope you find the answers you need. xx