How to explain ASD to family who think it's bad behaviour

[Nineveh]

DS is on the pathway to an ASD diagnosis. A couple of months ago we went on holiday with my brother and his family and another two families. When we booked it we didn't know about ASD. In short, it was a nightmare and DS found it completely overwhelming. It brought home to us what support he and we need, as it is all pretty new. I also thought my brother had seen and understood.

Today I saw him without the kids for the first time in ages and he asked me how we distinguish between ASD behaviours and when DS is 'just being a little shit'. He then qualified it by saying that 'all kids are little shits sometimes', but it's really upset me.

Has anyone else experienced this with family members and how do you explain it? Also, am I overreacting? I know he didn't mean to upset me, and is probably trying to understand better but I found his comment really hurtful.

Would watching these help?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr4_dOorquQ

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xHHwZJX67-M

m.youtube.com/watch?v=d4G0HTIUBlI

He's not trying to understand better, if he was he'd get a book or do research himself.

Some people need more time to work it out...

Perfect your 'smile and nod'

Learn as much as you can about autism and what it's like to be autistic so you can be the best advocate you can be.

Remember that just as you can't separate the autism from the person you can't separate autistic behaviour from non-autistic behaviour in an autistic person.

Thank you, I agree it takes time. It feels new to us so I can see it will take longer for others to get it and there's a big learning curve for all of us.

Really helpful point about not. Wing able to separate autistic and non-autistic behaviours, I will remember that for next time when I hopefully won't feel so blindsided!