i am incandescent with rage...... (bit of a long one sorry!)

[mamatres]

today i took my little boy (HFA) eho is 4 and his little sister who is 2 to a lovely local park and gardens place with an indoor play area. we go there frequently as we are members.

today, ds was playing in play area whilst i was tending to dd when suddenly i heard a mans voice roaring at my ds shouting and swearing ( this took everyone aback!) at my ds because he had pushed his granddaughter down the slide. he was nowhere near her at the time and couldnt have seen properly what had happened. she wasnt hurt but ended up making a fuss because he was making a fuss iykwim.

my poor ds was terrified, and ran away. i had words with the man but i was getting upset so in the end left him to find ds who was catatonic on a bridge, he couldnt make any eye contact and was groaning. i had to physiclly lift him and negotiate way through play area with promises of ice cream and reassurances that i wasnt cross with him but at the naughty man. my mum meanwhile had words with the man and he somewhat grudgingly apologised to her (not to me or ds though).

i would never shout at a child the way he shouted at my lovely ds, who didnt understand what he was doing, and a couple of other mums came up to me after the event and said they couldnt believe it. it could have been anyones child up there doing it, and it would have upset them that he shouted but wouldnt prob have affected them the way it di my ds.surely when you take a child to somewhere like that you expect a bit of rough and tumble. its what kids do fgs. and if he was so concerned about her wellbeing why wasnt he watching her every move?

perhaps i should have been paying closer attention to ds but its the first time somethings happened like that as he normally keeps himself to himself so wonder if she had done something first to make him push her. she was prob older than him but about the same size.

god i'm still seething a bout it now. it really blighted our otherwise lovely day and now i fear ds will be really affected by it and not want to go to those places again, whereas he usually adores them.

right, sorry for such long post, but had to get it off my chest and thought some of you might understand.
thanks for listening!

poor you and ds{{{hugs}}}

That's horrible.
Fantasise for a while about what you could have said to him
Call him every name under the sun
Pity him for awhile
Talk to your little one about how yuck some people are
Remember how much fun you had
Be cross for another 5 mins
Then don't let the loser spoil your day any more!
Hope you feel better soon, that kind of thing can really shake you up.

Oh mamtres, that's awful

Think Talcyone has wise words for you.
(Think she missed off the one about opening a bottle of wine tonight though!), xxx

thanks all! how annoying is it though when you think of all the really good things you could haave said but didnt think of at the time?!

already dreaming about the wine.... mmmmm ... always dreaming about wine.

also am annoyed now with df who i just spoke to on phone about it, expecting some support, and she implied i'm too free-range with my kids and that i should watch them all the time, and that i didnt see what happened so maybe the man was in the right. though in the end she backed down a bit and hoped he was ok etc i am still and that she might not see it from my point of view.
if dh had been there he would have lamped the bloke!!!

Don't be and
say bllcks to them
Enjoy the wine
and forget

thanks! i will. you have some too. we all deserve it!!!

Cheers!

bottoms up

i find mentally saying LOSER and doing the L sign feels very immature, but also very good!

Awww! Poor ds.

Enjoy the wine.

I try to remind myself when crappy things like that happen what a sad miserable person that must be, and how much I'd rather we were occasionally on the receiving end than to be living his horrible mean angry life.

How's your ds doing tonight?

Hugs to you both

well he went to bed fine, he mentioned it earlier on, well kind of insomuch as hee said he had a rubbish time! bless him. he is at playschool all day tomorrow so might mention it to his teacher in case he's a bit 'off'

oh some people....

now, i'm not a witch or anything but i like to get those people off my chest by writing down a rant to them then burning it in the sink!!

it helps psychologically

(or vigorous exercise: it's usually some idiot in the playground in the morning, i then go and exercise hard while i chunter about that person under my breath

Your poor lad . He's only four, the man shouldn't have spoken so harshly to him.

LOL at hk78
Sure you're not a witch?
hhmmm?

some people just don't deserve to be using up our oxygen.

sorry your wee one had a terrible time. What a cranky old fart.

LOL

i'm not surprised your angry hun, how dare a complete stranger talk to a child like that, he's just a coward hun, if he wasnt he would have come and told you, i agree with advice you've been given, especially off talcyone, dont let him spoil anymore time, oh and dont forget the wine though, think you may need it, what a horrible thing to happen. hope your ds is much happier again tomorrow x

thanks to you all. I LOVE MUMSNETTERS!!!!!!!!!

will give him a big hug on all your behalf

I've had a similar experience, took my DS to watch SharkTale at the cinema ( a couple of years back now ) think he was 4 1/2 at the time. My DS is non-verbal and got really excited!( if you listen to the noises he makes you can tell that he has a disability - sadly ) anyway some idiot shouted SHUT UP!!!at him I was sooo and i couldn't help myself i leaped out of my chair shouting "who the B#####Y hell said that!!" of course it was pitch black and i couldn't tell who had said it!! My husband left with DS and i had to stay with DD ( i sat there crying for the rest of film! )

Anyway i got my own back - i wrote a letter to the local newspaper , they printed it with the headline ADULT BEHAVES BADLY IN CINEMA.
just hope she read it!!

I know exactly how you feel - but the way i look at it now is that it will only make me stronger!!

charlea, poor you! its horrible isnt it? and you just think, whilst everyone else stands there looking on with sympathy, 'why dont you say something? help me out!'
but maybe i'd be the same.
what annoys me is when i get really cross, i cry. dontt seem to be able to help it and it kind of makes me feel like i am showing myself to be weak in front of them and that they will think they've 'won' iyswim.