Hello
Does anyone have any advice about how to approach talking to their children about their additional needs?
My DS is 8 years old and after a lot of questioning over the last 5 years we have come out of a Multi-Disciplinary Assessment with confirmation that he does not have an autistic spectrum condition but we did then go to see an Occupational Therapist who specialises in sensory integration and she is adamant that he has sensory processing disorder. It is the only 'diagnosis' that has made sense to us as parents and that explains the many difficulties he has in dealing with day-to-day life. We never believed he had autism so don't feel that the lack of diagnosis is a cost-cutting fudge. Equally, SPD is not a stand alone diagnosis in this country...
We want to talk to him about the fact that there is a reason for why he finds certain things difficult and overwhelming when others don't, but we're not sure how to go about it. We also want to talk to his older sister, aged 11. She is very negative with her brother who she finds annoying, cannot understand why he does what he does, etc. Their relationship can be pretty toxic but I think they do love each other underneath all the irritation.
Is it okay to talk to her first? She would understand the facts easily and would become more sympathetic to him, I think. Or is that disrespectful to DS, who is the child at the centre of all this?
Any advice or first hand experience of talking to your own children about newly identified needs would be so welcome!