At the end of my tether....3yr DS suspected ASD

[Chasingmytail17]

I feel I am constantly nearing the end of my tether...energy and joy being sapped out of every day. Our poor Ds just seems to find things so difficult. One minute he can be happy but then the next just miserable and today it seems a mostly miserable day. He is language delayed which make a things so hard as lots if the time we have no idea what's going in with him. The only thing we know that makes him consistently happy is tv. All other activities seem hit and miss, one minute he'll love them and then he's had enough. His behaviour is trying to say the least and when he's upset it can be a real challenge, throwing etc. We are starting ABA for 3hrs x 5 mornings in a few weeks and I feel like all my hope is riding on it producing some sort of miracle that will make life a bit easier....i'm aware this is unlikely... it breaks my heart that I can't seem to keep him happy. He is such a joyful and loving child a lot of the time. I don't really know what my message is getting at but I suppose I just want to know that things will get easier?!?

I remember how hard it was when my boy was that age and before ABA. It does help - not a miracle or anything - but gives him better ways of getting his needs met and redirects challenging behaviours. It also gave my boy speech. Things get easier yes. My boy is 14 now and 5ft 11 but happy and well behaved (most of the time anyway)

Thank you sickofsocalled that's so reassuring to hear. At this stage it's so hard to imagine how he will be in a few years. He does have some speech ( a large vocab) but very echolaliac and can't answer questions without a choice and can't tell us how he feels. Any speech seems to go out of the window when he gets upset anyway. I so glad your boy is happy. How long did you do ABA for if you don't mind me asking? Did it take a while for you to see the changes? I'm not expecting any miracles but I am hopeful as i have heard such good things about it.

If he can echo speech that is a very good sign - you just have to get him to link up certain words with certain outcomes - e.g. he learns that he gets a bag of quavers if he says quavers. It sounds simple but it was not for my boy, and was the key to his developing language. He also had to learn that hitting out or hitting self was not on. Teach early before they get bigger than you! If I had not done so, I would be in real trouble now as my boy is so much bigger than me. My boy is still at an ABA school now, but the home prog in the early years saw results pretty quickly. I would say he is now at the moderate end of severe (he has additional severe learning difficulties too) - but without ABA would be just plain severe. To be honest, every autistic kid is so different that it really depends on starting points. But I think you are doing the right thing, and ABA also has the best evidence base. Good luck!

I'm in the same boat chasing you tail. My boy will be 3 next month and doesn't really speak... entertaining him all day is draining and I tend to fill up my days with trips out so I get some 'time off' in the car. Also waiting on an ABA program.... have you attempted potty training yet?

Thank you all for replies. Abbott I arranged ABA through researching online then posting on a ABA Yahoo forum. A consultant then got in touch and we started from there. We have found our own tutors for the programme locally through word of mouth etc. Both have experience working with pre schoolers with special needs but neither have done ABA before so we are hoping it will all work out well.
readyornot I also go in the car for a break!! Driving is so peaceful :) we started potty training when he was 3yr4month which was about 2 months ago. He showed no obvious signs of wanting to use the toilet, in fact at first he screamed whenever I suggested it and used to throw the potty across the room! Bribery worked in the end as well as a special toilet seat. I used to say he could watch an episode of peppa if he sat on it. At firsti would just sit and wait with him on it and if something happened make a song and dance about it and give a grape or sweet or something. He started to enjoy going to the toilet so much he would want to go as he knew he would watch peppa and get a sweet. The rest followed really. However we still have accidents especially when distracted. We have also recently had a big problem with not pooing in the toilet ever! Just in pants then immediately after saying to me toilet. Of course too late. We have however had poo in toilet most days for last 4 days. We are on holiday though so I am able to keep a constant eye on him rather than when he is at preschool or we are rushing about at home. It's not easy but he did way better than I initially expected so if you are worrying you never know you might be pleasantly surprised. Just because they don't show the usual signs it doesn't mean they won't be able to get it :)

Sorry epic post there. Got carried away

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly!