I have name changed as I posted on here previously and the thread got very heated. I am here for advice/views on how to handle a situation at school with my DS, 9, year 4.
DS1 is overall a happy boy but has had what have been described to me at school as low level behavioural issues, e.g. calling out in class, not listening etc, which have improved significantly as he has gotten older until the start of this year. His class teacher has a reputation for being strict and within a few weeks of starting year 4 suggested he might be autistic. To cut a long story short, as the school were concerned (they said issues were mild but worth checking) we got DS assessed for autism privately. Assessment said that he is not autistic nor does he have ADHD although he has some traits of both.
The question is now how to handle this at school. I have had follow-up meetings with the school and, based on comments they made, I am not sure they accept the findings of the report - they seem to think he does have some kind of issues but I am not clear what they want to do to help. They have suggested a social skills workshop which is fine but they also want to tell other teachers that DS1 has "issues" to which I said no as report ruled out ASD and ADHD and I don't want DS to be treated differently. Academically he is fine and the report showed a verbal IQ of 130 so academic interventions are not really needed but I still feel there is a problem at school and I am powerless to sort it out. I do wonder if a lot of it is is his teacher's perception of him as things were fine until year 4, with any issues classed as minor and well managed by his previous teachers. Even now they are saying issues are low level but they seem very keen to put a label on him and class him as special needs. I am at a loss as to how to deal with this. Very difficult as every time we have a meeting at school, it's very hard not to get upset and defensive as I feel that DS is being personally attacked. I also feel upset that the school were saying everything is fine until this year when this has suddenly come out of the blue. Does anyone have any advice how to deal with this? I think that all I can do it carry on doing what I have been doing and treating DS as a normal child and disciplining him in the usual way if he calls out/doesn't listen etc. He generally behaves well at home so hard to understand the extent of the issues at at school and what is leading them to have this view of him.