Talk to me about ADHD particularly girls

[Waitingforsleep]

I'm wondering if I have missed what could be ADHD for my Dd , can anyone chat about this or their experiences of particualry a girl or mild ADHD / inattentive ADHD?

That hits the nail on the head Bertie!

I feel like DDs differences are "just" a collection of small things and are "just" things that are normal in children, albeit children a good few years younger than her (sometimes it feels like she is a very bright toddler in a big girl's body). And she doesn't harm anyone or disrupt lessons. But it drives us crazy at home, I don't feel like I can manage or help her anymore, and we desperately need outside help, but no one seems keen to give it

Just a quick test as I keep typing and it won't load ...

Oh it's worked now
Lol!
My Dd is the same its Mainly what affects her. I have a crucial meeting this week and just don't know what to do as feel there is something in this which rings so true. With emotions as well its the other emotions she finds hard at time- will be over Whelmed and sob about sweet music she has heard on the radio, she really feels things.
With regards to school she doesn't cause any hassle but we had the note- "Dd needs to manage her distractions in the classroom through more focus on her individual work, rather than sharing and talking about other fun things she has on her mind"
Her teacher says he sees her process things and repeats the instruction and sees the penny drop when she gets it and is off working fine.
She gets upset at injustice and can come out of school wound up and angry if they have all been kept in a break of one or two were naughty.
She is still carthwheeling!!!!!
Another thing I wondered if of importance is that she has gone through periods that I wonder are transient tics as she would make a "MM" sound when relaxing watching tv which would sometimes spill out to a word. It was quite worrying and had happened for around a
Month twice now. We just ignore it and it goes. But it sounds very odd.
This is all so hard to peice together!

wow I came onto mumsnet to try and look for some advice about my DD who is 6 and reading through this thread so many things tick. She is in general a very happy, friendly, bubbly girl but has zero attention span and as someone else mentioned will be distracted by anything. Will just get up to go somewhere and when you say what are you doing, we are all doing this..... doesn't seem to even realise she'd been moving away. Never looks like she's listening even when she is and sometimes will seem to be listening intently but when you say lets get going she has no idea what she's meant to do.

We also have the temper flare ups, one second all cuddles and how much she loves us then 10 minutes later if something doesn't go her way she's so angry, will stamp feet like a toddler, call you a meanie and shout. The thing that we are really struggling with at the moment and what prompted me to come on here is she is really struggling to deal with social situations. She doesn't seem to know how to enter a group of friends and join their game, if someone says they don't want to play the same she suggests, she doesn't know how to react or says something like 'I don't care' and walks away, when she really does care and what's to be with them. Is this something that you find with your daughters?

Also do your daughters struggle to go to sleep but for no real reason? She can be so tired but just seems to not be able to shut her brain off at night time which then leaves her exhausted the next day and her mood even worse.

Someone has suggested to us that we try and see an educational psychologist to see if they can give us clues on how to help her but I'm thinking we may need to go to the doctors and get them involved?

You are in the right place! I'm still trying to work it all out but there are some really good people on here to help.
From my understanding there are so many over laps it can be hard to distinguish things but for me I have come to the ADHD/add thought process as my Dd is fine with social situations which when I read about asd doesn't fit with her however what else you have written does.
There can of course be asd and ADHD present.

I don't know what it is with Dd but it's good to keep posting and getting knowledge.

Sleep- yes yes yes! One answer saved our lives and that's melatonin! She can't sleep as her brain cannot turn off for her to get to sleep and nothing helped except that. You need to have it prescribed and fight to get it but insist together with evidence and say maybe as a trial?
Hth

Yes I've noticed the social element doesn't come up on a lot of the lists I've found but I've made an appointment at the doctors on Friday and got the school on board so I'll be going with a list of observations from home and school and I'm hoping that'll get their attention enough to investigate further.

wintersdawn do we have the same DD?

I fully sympathise because while she is a lovely, funny, cheery girl, it is very very frustrating and exhausting trying to parent her.

I'm also going to the doctors and trying to get the school on board this week as I'm keen to get an assessment. It's very confusing though - doc says school needs to initiate, school says the other way round. I just want someone to get the ball rolling!

I'm also going to ask doc about melatonin for sleep. Yes, DD suffers from exactly the same sleep issues as yours. Even when exhausted it always takes her 30 mins to 2 hours to drop off. Some relaxation techniques, breathing etc have worked a bit, but not reliably. Friend is a GP and he says melatonin v well tolerated, safe and effective, so I have high hopes.

Fingers crossed we all manage to get somewhere soon. Good luck!

Have had the most awful day with camhs today. Will post later but it didn't go well. Why why do they just not listen :(

I'm exhausted, may have to post tomorrow. But is there anywhere private I can go? Any recommendations? I don't want to put you off the Drs but please don't let them fob you off. It's awful but maybe just my experiences

Sorry to hear you had such a bad meeting Waiting did nothing positive come out of it?

Clearly I've a meeting with the school tomorrow and they are providing me with a list of things that they have noticed about her behaviour at school and we have an appointment with the doctors on Friday which I'm hoping will get some results.

Sometimes I think her behaviour would be helped by just getting some better sleep so think I'll try pushing for melatonin as her sleep has been getting steadily worse since Christmas.

My Dd is not clear cut in short I don't think they understand what the problem is (I don't completely get it either but you think they would) but I do know my Dd and I won't have them saying things that are just in my eyes guesses. I have had previous professionals say Dd can't be on the spectrum as she makes eye contact and is socialble however after research I know that's rubbish!
This team one thing they said yesterday was that dd's working memory isn't causing her a problem and that it is anxiety causing it. I had to say I completely disagreed. Dd had an ep report which states in it her working memory is lower and causing problems for her. I told them I live with her and no disrespect but it's like living with someone with dementia as she can't remember things. That then causes anxiety and meltdowns. Gosh I'm feeling so angry typing this. I just don't know what to do. They made me feel like crap.

Ps sleep definitely helped

No, a number of DD's friends (girls) have been ASD - they made eye contact (although sometimes it was the wrong amount) and they were sociable (although they might talk about their special interest a bit too much). It was quite subtle, but tended to be noticeable when they were pedantic and pulled me up on my language, which would be unusual in say an 8 year old!

I actually don't think Dd is on the spectrum anymore although am open to it but her sociability seems to be fine and not masked although she does get anxious in certain situations. She is the life and soul of the party and is so popular wherever she goes, she also is good at what they say is theory of mind- saying well I think so and so wil do xyz because of xyz and reading people's faces etc however maybe she is intelligent and learned it so well?
But the ADHD fits so much more to me but no one will
Listen. She has just said to me she wants to cartwheel in the class but knows she can't. All of her meltdowns the past 24 hours have related to time- not being able to wait for things, concept of when things will happen and things taking forever when in reality it's 5 mins.. Forgetting what she has said although she has also had one due to inflexible thinking too. I'm really struggling as to where to go with this

Waiting what a shame that you didn't get anywhere or the support you were hoping for.

The doctors have sent me back to the school for her educational assessment and to the health visitor for help with sleep. I've no idea what they think the health visitor is going to do!

Luckily the school agreed to refer her so that will start after half term. In the meantime I'm seriously thinking about buying melatonin from holland and Barrett's

I'm a bit rushed but oh no no no no no! Health visitor?! How old is she again? I have been through all of this :(
Good sleep hygiene - of course I had a bedtime routine but it doesn't work!! They don't get it.
They are not keen to prescribe melatonin as it costs so much money. I had to fight for it so I think you will have to. I am so angry for for this lack of help. Melatonin was a life saver for all of us.xx

I think Dd did the best example of her boredom threshold today (which did make me chuckle)
Plugs in her stereo with an audiobook on in the landing whilst she has a poop - because it's boring

Sounds just like my dd 6! Wonder if ADHD/add - she is being assessed for ASD but no diagnosis as yet.

I haven't read the whole thread but my dd who is 8 has a diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. Her main problems are with executive functioning and concentration. She also had a diagnosis of dyspraxia and I suspect she's on the spectrum. She can't tie shoelaces yet and still needs a lot of help to get dressed, for example.

Thank You!! I've just found this thread, after having the day from hell with my 8 year old dd (year 3 at school).
We are still waiting on somebody from CAHMS to visit her at school, at the request of her teacher. DD has a very short temper, always blaming other people for her outbursts. Teachers say she will wander around the classroom, telling tales on other children, yet failing to get on with her own work! She finds it hard to keep friends, and she can become a bit obsessive over anybody who shows her an interest (friend's mums, a hairdresser friend of her auntie, etc).
So far today, I've had one of her teachers ask me why dd hasn't been practicing her spellings or done any homework......my reply was the truth, "she told me you hadn't set any homework, and you were revising old spellings...." . That was followed up with the information that dd had been in a spat with a year 1 child.
Fast forward to swimming lesson tonight, where she was just generally disruptive (not maliciously, just silly), and another child's parent complaining about her. Over a year of swimming lessons and she still can't swim!
Does this sound like ADHd, or should I be looking at Autistism?

Married - it's the kind of thing that is difficult to tell from a post because actually ADHD and autism traits can overlap anyway.

Does your dd have a paediatrician? If you feel that your child has a diagnosis and something is not quite right then you are probably going to have to push for an investigation and diagnosis. No diagnosis= no need to pay for extra resources so LAs encourage avoiding it.

My dd had inattentive ADHD but I suspect she's also on the spectrum.

You see with my Dd she doesn't do any of her short temper shouting etc in front of anyone except at home! I'm so pleased she doesn't display this at school however getting people to understand how different she can be is very tricky!
We may be on the way to more info as I have more appointments coming up so I will keep posting and all please keep posting too.
It is extremely difficult to unpick and with so many over laps too!
Married is there anything you see that looks like asd to you?

Elliot's mum can you tell us more about how inattentive presented and presents with your Dd?
Thanks

Lottie could you tell us
More too please? Thank you