Discrimination or just accept it?

[CleverQuacks]

Hi all,
My son is 2 and delayed in his development. We are currently on the waiting list to see the paediatrician. One thing the health visitor has recommended is putting him in a nursery one day a week so he has new social experiences.

I have approached a private nursery where my older two children went when they were babies. I know the nursery well and was very happy with the care my older children got so thought it would be good for my 2 year old.

I wanted to be sure though that they could meet my some needs so we had a meeting with them this morning. Following the meeting they said they were unsure that they could provide the care he needs and maybe I should look else where. Are they allowed to do this?? I mean I know he will need extra care than other 2 year olds but he is not completely behind. He would only need help with eating (he can't feed himself) managing stairs (he throws himself off the top step) and speech (he has no words). He would also need supervision because he pulls hair. Surely that's not to much to ask?!?! Do I complain that they are discriminating against my son or do we just accept that this is part of having a child with additional needs?

If so are there such things as "special needs" nurseries? How would I find one? Or how else could my son improve socially, we already go to toddler groups etc.

Sadly private/indi places can be selective. I don't agree with it but they can do it afaik.

Maybe look at the local church playgroup or children's centre if you have one? Ime quite often because they are shorter sessions and pre school rather than day nursery the parents who drop off don't work - you may find some valuable support for you too through other parents.

And knowledge is power! Arm yourself with the information about Sen and care for under 5's. Send CoP and IPSea have lots of valuable information

What an awful attitude, I'd strike them off my list for sure. DS3 is in a private nursery but he is there purely on the 3 year old funding thingy, and DS is by no means the only child with SEN with a good few children with more severe needs than his. I think if that nursery accepts government funding for over 3's they may well be over the line wrt to discrimination.

Some areas have funded places for 2 year olds with development delays, so it may be worth asking your HV. Otherwise it's just a case of visiting and checking them out as much as you can. It's also possible for preschools to apply for top-up funding if 1:1 is needed (DS1 had 1:1 in preschool). It would require a certain amount of evidence and has to be approved by the LA so can take a little time to get in place. DS1 had seen the Ed Psych which is how he got his, but I think there are LA Inclusion Officers/Area SENDCos who more usually get involved with that side.

In my area nurseries are over subscribed.'All the private Ines either said no or started to ignore us. One state one made it really awkward, another accidentally have the only hours we couldn't do and the last took her... but was awful.

I relied in the end on various unregistered childcare to be honest, other mums etc

He doesn't seems to have that many additional needs over other 2 yr olds - makes me so cross when daycares are like this.

I'd look at a playgroup style nursery setting - the kind in church halls that are for a couple of hours on the morning and perhaps 2 mornings a wk.

Thanks everyone. I will look at playgroups and Montessori. It's sad that a nursery can just refuse to take him but you are right, I don't want him there if they aren't going to give him the best.