At my wits end with daughter, not sure I can do this anymore to be honest.

[nancyclancy123]

My dd is almost 6 and was diagnosed with ASD last year. Her all round development is generally delayed too but she is making some good progress with this and her speech and understanding is coming along too.

What I'm finding really difficult is that she is a real screamer, she could shatter glass. It's getting to the point where I'm just sick of it because it's ALL the time. We have little snippets of her in a good mood and she is lovely but the negative behaviour far outweighs the good.
Here's a list of things that will set her off:
.Her older brothers walking into the same room as her and she doesn't want them in there.
.People tapping/moving their feet about whilst sitting down.
.If we're having a cup of tea in a shop and she doesn't want to be there.
.Other people chatting to me. if we're in the street and someone starts talking to me, she'll start.
.Only likes a very select few people coming round to the house.
.Going for walks etc. she'll protest if she doesn't want to go the same way.
.Will start if her brothers go on the trampoline, even if she doesn't want to go on it herself.

Once she starts she goes mad, screaming, shouting and more recently lashing out at us. This can happen suddenly and we are constantly treading on egg shells. Sometimes, she appears upset, but it's mostly because she's furious.

I have done every course going, both as a parent and as a professional ( I work with children) and have tried to find out as much as I can about ASD and how to help her. But nothing has worked.
It just feels like we are trapped by her. We have tried using timeout (with a timer) when she starts. Putting her in her bedroom, walking away and ignoring, reasoning with her etc. but we are getting nowhere.
Her behaviour is deteriorating at school too and although they have been fab, we are looking into moving her to a special school.
Paediatrician doesn't seem to know what to suggest either.

We are at our wits end, but desperate to help her but how? She sleeps really well, eating isn't great but it varies on a daily basis. I just don't now what else to do to help her, it's been like this for about 4 1/2 years.
We turn down mot invites to other peoples houses, trips to the beach etc. because it's more hassle than it's worth and it makes me anxious.
We tend to do things separately as a family too, so our other children don't miss out.

Sorry for whinging, I know it's not easy for anyone. Just hoping someone might have some suggestions or been in a similar situation.

We have wondered about PDA, but I feel like I'm clutching at straws all the time!

That sounds incredibly hard. Noise is a huge trigger for me and i wear earplugs around the house. It does sound a LOT like PDA.

She sounds very similar to my DD. She can be utterly lovely but can also scream a lot. It is so difficult and does really bring me down. I think it is a stress reaction from her. I'm afraid I do walk away as otherwise I would shout and I don't want to do that. Us staying calm does help. We are hoping to move her to special school soon and I hope her stress will go down and that screaming will decrease.

OP, have you researched sensory defensiveness and misophonia?

From your list, most of her triggers seem to me to be noise-related.

Will she wear ear-defenders, if so and if her reactions are less than her usual and if her anxiety around noise that hurts her lessens, it may be the way to go for a solution.

Yes that is a massive worry of mine actually. That other children will make her life more stressful not less. But she is not learning at mainstream and they are struggling and I need to try for her.

Me too. I am also trying to get my son into special school and am also worried that he may clash with rather than feel at home with the other neurodivergent kids (especially as this was the problem behind some failed 'trial' days at an SS). But like you say Stradbroke, things are going so badly in MS (with the exception of his mild-mannered but quirky best friend) that I feel I have to try it. Especially with secondary school looming. I am just hoping that with the assessments that we still have on the table they can get the mix right (no guarantees of course).