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So my daughter has just flashed her privates at an older boy

7 replies

NoNamesLeft86 · 31/03/2017 21:14

Right so my daughter is almost 8. She has no diagnosis but im almost certain she has high functioning autism/aspergers. She is under assessment but is tricky because she is an angel at school and they blame me for amy issues at home. So thats the basic background. Her and her sister have just come back from their Dads, where they had been with his New girlfriends son, who is about 10/11 and they have met a few times. DD1 has just informed me that DD2 has just pulled up her skirt, and pulled her knickers to the side and showed the boy her privates. And thought it was hallarious. Ive just sat her down and explained that this is a huge no no and that whats in her underwear is private etc etc. But this is not the first time and we have always made sure we have drummed this into her but it seems to just not go in. She seems to be clueless as to why this isnt appropriate. I dont know what to do. Im so scared that one day she will do this to the wrong person and have some serious consquence. It has been adults in the past too, both male and female. But it hadnt happened for a long time so we thought we had got past this. Confused

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NoNamesLeft86 · 31/03/2017 21:54

I dont know what to do. I'm tempted to talk to the school, which I know will result in her being mortified. But i dont really know what else to do.

She doesn't seem to get that this isn't appropriate. Sad

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NoNamesLeft86 · 01/04/2017 07:50
Biscuit
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OneInEight · 01/04/2017 09:33

We have not had the same but frequently have the ds's finding something funny (and repeating) which others find offensive and being totally unable to understand why. I have seen a schematic of concentric circles of different types of people (family, doctors, friends, strangers etc) to help explain the rules of who you are allowed to show things to that can help explain social rules and I wonder if that would help. Think it is aimed at acceptable touching but would work for this scenario as well. Social stories might help as well. It probably has to be made into a rule rather than trying to get her to understand why at this stage. Mine really didn't get discretion about their bodies 9 or 10 but we got there eventually (infact now we have gone too far the other way).

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 01/04/2017 09:37

Have a read of Teach Your Child The Underwear Rule. It's an EU wide educational campaign to help kids understand what is acceptable and what is not. It's aimed at helping kids be safe from abuse but it will help her understand what is private and why.

underwearrule.org

defineme · 01/04/2017 09:38

The school (headteacher) talking to my ds about a similar issue was the only thing that properly stopped it. The shock of the higher authority talking to him managed to break through the hilarity/ lack of understanding etc.

zzzzz · 01/04/2017 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoNamesLeft86 · 04/04/2017 13:22

Thank you. Good to know im not alone on this.

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