Hello all,
(Sorry this is so long!).
My little boy is 3 and has asd. Despite having lots of vocabulary, until about 2 months ago he couldn't really answer any questions and didn't ask any beyond those that met his needs. He wasn't able to have a conversation at all and it's still limited but improving. He's always had a lot of echolalia, still does, although he's getting better at putting it into context. If you model a phrase for him he's also pretty good at memorising and using it again in the right way. (His pronouns really are all over the shop though!).
He's really come on recently and has started to answer questions a little more and to comment on things around him so has moved on a bit from making simple demands, although it's still very limited. He goes to the local school nursery and it's difficult to find out what he has done there each day but we have found ways of extracting information about his day by limiting questions and just talking generally about it, which seems to help him respond. We're very encouraged and it's lovely to see him talking and interacting a little more.
We have, though, noticed that while he's talking more at home and with grandparents etc, he is getting increasingly anxious about talking with his peers. He talks very little at nursery. (They were really excited when he told them he wanted to go outside, which made our hearts sink a little as this is something he asks at home about 100 times a day!). Of course he's more comfortable at home, and although he loves nursery I'm sure it's stressful for him so he's bound to talk more at home. If feels, though, like he'a realising the gap between him and his peers as he can't talk as well as they can, and he's anxious when they talk to him as he doesn't know how to answer. It's the unexpected nature of talking with peers that I guess is worrying for him (it's all a lot more predictable at home with us). We saw some kiddies from his nursery in the park recently and they called him over to play. He bolted and left the park. If we meet familiar people/friends of his in the street now when we're out walking he'll hide behind me or his new thing is to close his eyes when they speak to him 
. Previously he would at least have said hello, or regaled them with sections of his favourite books 
. (He's always been a gregarious little chap and we are pretty sure the change is largely due to his speech. If kids are playing alongside him he's really happy and has loads of fun. It's when they want to chat to him that he clams up and wants to escape. At home he's talking more and more).
We previously had private speech therapy which wasn't that helpful and it feels like we've made more progress at home working with him ourselves. But we're novices and we need more help. We're going to try to find another speech therapist, but for now I guess my question was whether you've had the same with your little ones and if so how you've helped them interact a little more and manage their anxiety about talking to others. We don't push him, particularly as he's sensitive, but we can see that he desperately wants to interact and talk but just doesn't know how.
The other thing I've noticed is that if he's playing in the park and he hears a child saying something to someone else (e.g. "push me higher") he repeats them but says the sound of the words, not the words themselves, even though it's a phrase he knows, understands and says. It's like he hears the rhythm/melody of the words but he can't decipher what they're saying and doesn't hear the actual words. (His hearing has been checked and is fine). If we say the same he can understand it. Again, he seem to want to join in, as he loves to copy what they're saying, but if they respond he clams up.
Does anyone have any idea/experience of how to help him out a little?
Thank you!