Aspergers daughter refusing school - what now?

[tinkerbellone]

Sorry for the long post. I really need help and advice and don't want to drip feed.

I'm single mum of 4. My eldest DD was diagnosed in Y7 with aspergers.
School have done everything they can and have been brilliant. She even started getting the school bus to and from school.

She's 14 now- started Y9 and her friendship group has broken up a little with taking different GCSE options & change of options.

She now can't get out the car in the morning. She says she had had enough. She can't cope with school anymore and doesn't feel 'safe'. Too loud too many people. Etc.
(They have a pastoral centre and she has always been able to go there; she won't go there now.without me with her).

DD is a lovely compliant funny young lady and for her to say 'no' is massive for her. She never says no. I know she has reached her limit.

Had meetings with Ed psych.
School recommended home schooling for a year or so.
Ed psych say she's main stream school able.
I would like her to go to a school which specialises in aspergers.

The people who know her best can see mainstream school isn't working - Ed psych never seen her before thinks it's going to be ok.
At last meeting with autism nurse she mentioned EHCP? Ed psych said it takes months and dismissed the idea. I said I wanted her supported as much as possible.

Anyone any experience with this.
Another review in 4 weeks.

In the meantime she has to put uniform on & I take her to school. She sits in car, refuses to get out, when asked by the lady who helps her (brilliant lady, so good with her) she then weeps and gets distressed and we go home. If the lady isn't available then we go home because no one can come out to her.
Anyone else had experience of this?
Thank you so much in advance xx

Oh yes. I have been there so many times with both of my girls. I have spent more hours than I could possibly count in school car parks with my distressed children.

School are admitting that they can't meet her needs by advising home schooling.

The ed psych is way out of order. The ed psychs in our county are targeted on reducing EHC Plans. That may explain the response you experienced.

Your DD needs an EHC assessment which will then lead to good clear recommendations around her needs and how they should be met. If a plan is issued, you get to say where those needs should be met so start investigating alternative schools now. Look at small independent schools especially.

This blog post might help.

Has she been referred to CAMHS for help with her anxiety? Has the ed psych done anything to help her with her anxiety? Sitting outside school every day won't help her make progress.

We eventually solved it for both girls by moving schools but we had to appeal to the SEND tribunal on both occasions.

Hi op

We reached the end of the road 2 years ago at 12 with our DD

We moved her to interhigh and she is now educated at home under an ehcp

It's been an enormous success, often people are in aware that this can be an option funded by her current school or lea by ehcp

Definitely apply for EHCP, you can apply yourself if school not cooperative. You can get help with applying from various organisations both free and private fee paying.

Only home ed if you want to, do not feel forced into it. It can work or it can make the young person even more isolated.

What area are you in and I may know some schools?

(Former SEN Officer now working as independent advisor.)

This sounds just like my 11 year old, year 7, DD. Now a total school refuser. Trying to get an EHCP but don't think we could get her to another school. We are considering trying to get the Lea to fund interhigh but are worried about social isolation.