How do you get your SN child to move (when they don't want to!)?

[Eulalia]

ds1 (with autism) is getting big (and heavy!), he is 7.5 but tall and 4 stone heavy. Generally he's been fairly compliant lately but I think we are entering another phase. The school have mentioned a few problems with resistance. They manage to get round this by talking him through, giving him options etc. However I don't always have time for this (in fact very rarely do). In the mornings its so tight to get him up and ready for school I often lift him down the stairs (also to prevent him waking the other children). I am suffering from sore hips just now due to too much physical work and doctor says I should rest (if only).

Another recent occasion was in a soft play area where it was time up but he just would not come. I had to drag him with my arms round his chest. I don't know if I should ask one of the staff to help with this or just ask for more help in general out in public. Most people wouldn't want to touch another child? He has a carer but she is smaller than me and besides its more difficult in a way for two people to move a child iykwim.

Any techniques anyone has used? In the soft play area he'd just gone off into another zone he was so overstimulated so talking to him was pointless.

I know I shouldn't lift him at all due to the strain on me obviously but giving him the wrong messages as well as I want him to be more independent.

I don't think you can ask others to help.

If ds1 is staging a sit in, I stand behind him with my hands around his chest and heave him. He is getting too big and heavy though and its dangerous up stairs as he leans back.

Generally therefore I try things like countdowns- 10, 9 8 etc then finished. That often works well. Or really strong reinforcement. So whatever the strongest reinforcer is at that time, I hood it up in front of this - as he reaches for it I move it away and say "x first, then y", so "dressed first then button" for example.

I do the same as Jimjams, the heaving from behind thing but it's getting harder now. Luckily ds is improving slightly in that once he is up he will often give in and do what I want him to instead of just flopping back to the floor. The getting him up is the hard bit!
We are using countdowns too and sometimes that works. When we are out he won't let me hold his hand but he has a constant need to have his hands squeezed so I've started using that to my advantage. If he lies on the ground I offer squeezes but he has to stand up to reach. It doesn't always work but we're getting there. Last week he walked all the way to his Grandad's and we arrived in a 'normal' time and unbelievably not hot and flustered (me not him!). To other people it just looks like I'm holding his hand in the usual way whereas really I'm gripping his fingers.

I had the soft play thing on Sunday when we went to a birthday party. He would have been ok playing on his own but he kept on sitting at the bottom of the slide and I had to keep on dragging him away only for him to go straight back there. I ended up going down the slide with him about 20 times while all the other parents sat around drinking tea and chatting. I did tell the staff that they could just move him if he was in the way but they didn't so I suppose they aren't allowed to.

Thanks, we went to soft play when it was extremely busy but it fitted in with a relative helping out. I won't be doing that again, she wasn't much good anyway. I asked to stay with him at all times and she goes and orders a meal! Our carer is much better and I think the key is to not let the situation escalate. He was stuck in a ball pit when it was time to go and had to go through a maze of obstacles. Nightmare.

The other problem is that he is quite chatty and other children tend to attach to him often sensing that he is odd. He can get teased easily. I have started having a word with the parents who often tell their kids to stay away which they will do but tend to wander back to him. Some kids will even start play fighting. I am really worried that he'll hurt someone, particulalry as often a parent isn't around as was the case in the swimming pool recently. kids of 8+ can swim on their own so this opens up a whole new area of difficulty. However maybe an 8 year old can understand to some extent - maybe I should just say "he is disabled, please stay away" or ask someone offical like a pool attendant to do it. (Sorry thinking aloud here)

Don't have any reinforcements that work really. Choc is OK but he'd probably just want to eat a whole packet and it would use up more time! Don't want to get him up any earlier as he doesn't sleep till 11pm and gets little enough sleep as it is.

My situation isn't quite the same but my DD can be a stubborn minx and like JJ I also use the counting. I count to 5 and usually she's moived by 4. If I get to 5 then I say'right finished, let's go' and so far for soem reason it works.

With number 4 I just push her wheelchair but number 2 has Aspergers and 7 was the same. We were always late for school cos he woldnt move or he'd hide his uniform and hide in bed.
I ended up home educating. He's now 13 and still hard to move.

I use a 5 minute sand timer - a big blue one for when we have to go somewhere so he knows there's no messing and he can't get out of it. I have a 30 second red one for time out - this is still new hence the 30 seconds, can just about keep him still for that. I also use a 3 minute one in other situations. Hope this helps.