DS understanding/speech difficulties but can read and spell lots of single words??

[Kskifred]

So, I will try not to drip feed. This may be an essay though.

DS is 2.9 yo, and has a speech delay. Going back and forth between NHS waiting lists for SALT and the ENT as DS also has glue ear, suspected for 18 months+. Last hearing test said they were reluctant to do grommets/treatment as didn't think glue ear was bad enough but has it in both ears, confirmed at 2 separate tests. I insisted on ENT referall, appointment is coming up in Feb. SALT we are still waiting since referral last May, so this weekend we had our first private speech session. We have been trying cranial osteopathy for glue ear too that I think is giving results.

A bit more about DS, so he was limited to about 20-30 unclear words at 2 yr review, since then vocab has grown to about 200 words, and in the last month has started putting 2-3 word phrases together, still only really nouns and adjectives though eg. 'OK night night mummy' , thank you, bye etc. The improvement is down to a new interest in copying - this wasn't something he was that interested in before really which I put down to the glue ear but I dunno. He is now starting to copy our phrases which has opened up his vocab a lot.

Around 2.5, DS became obsessed (would still play with other toys so not completely fixated) on the phonics alphabet; great, I thought and he can pronounce nearly all of the sounds very well now, he loves letters and numbers and can now count and identify up to 100. If you ask him to spell out words up to about 6 letters eg. flower, yellow, he will do so, he can also read these words back to you but I think this is more of a memory thing as they absorb like a sponge at this age. Along with some other interests of his, although he has some milestone development issues with communication I'm confident he isn't lacking in all areas and is a bright, perhaps misunderstood little boy.

Speech therapist at his assessment on Saturday asked how I felt his general understanding was - my answer was fairly confident he understands most things, and follows most of my instructions. Her follow up from the assessment was that he didn't show signs of understanding what was being said to him, past one word so his basic understanding was limited. I'm not sure I agree with this, but going with it for now as if I think back, perhaps it's easy to not realise how much I support DS with actions when speaking to him. Something I learned when attending speech workshops to help build his vocab, but whatever. For eg. if I say lets get changed for a bath, he will start undressing and run to turn the taps on, but she tried to explain that perhaps the only word out of that he understood was bath. I am aware that an hour of him 'performing' is not enough for her to assess him properly and I am a better judge, however I worry that I'm massively seeing him through rose tinted specs sometimes.

DS nursery have contacted me today to discuss DS development tonight as they have noticed all the phonics sounds and reading he can do and are praising this, but can't help but feel like there is a but involved.

I guess my question is, is it normal for a child to almost understand the way some language is built before being able to understand and speak it?! Sometimes if I don't understand what he is saying (I am pretty good at knowing but still get caught occasionally) he just spells the word out for me. Whilst this alleviates frustration I can't help but feel like it's a bit backwards developmentally, and the assessment has kind of thrown a spanner in the works as was always reassuring myself that he was fairly clued up but just needed a bit of help with speech, where as now I'm worrying that he is actually not understanding the basics and I should have picked up on it!

On the calm/bright side he is progressing well at the moment which speech even if he does have some extra hurdles. He is such a happy boy regardless so I try to remember this.

Was just wondering if anyone had experience with their children of something similar/words of reassurance?

Or am I worrying over nothing?

Thanks

zzzz Neither do I . I was a bit taken aback you mentioned that you were discouraged to enhance your DS academic abilities and maybe you felt I meant that by my post ? It kills me when I work with students who have SEN that are not stretched high enough or when a child clearly has strengths but is discarded. I mention this to teachers but I'm either told to mind my own business or that it's up to the parent's to challenge this (sadly usually it is). So it touched a nerve.

I've learnt that DS has his own path. It's not like typical kids his age. No, but it's different and his happy. :)

Thanks for the book suggestions..NeroTribes looks interesting. I'm going to place an order on my Kindle.

Hi op, I've never posted before, only browsed, but your son sounded similar to mine so I couldn't not reply and tell you about him and our experiences.

He did everything a little bit late, but within normal ranges, only had a handful of words at 18 months, and only just started to put two words together at 2. As he was otherwise such a happy, active, loving and affection boy, without any obvious sensory issues, we hadn't been that concerned about his language delay, just thought he was a late talker. Around 2 he become obsessed with numbers, he never pointed out dogs, cars, planes etc but would spot numbers everywhere! From seemingly nowhere at 2 he could recognise numbers up to and over 100, then moved to alphabet and by 3 was reading fluently, though his understanding of what he was reading was limited. There is a term for this, hyperlexia, which you may wish to look up.

Initially my sons language, which has now progressed, was limited to repeating learned phrases (echoalia) and very needs based. He had a good vocabulary, for example could tell you the name, shape and colour of something but was unable to have any kind of meaningful conversation.

His nursery were great and with the support of a senco, engaged him with social and communication games, and he continued to progress.

He is now 4 and currently being assessed for asd, a process that will likely take a year and a half. He is in reception at a mainstream school and absolutely thriving, his language has come on in leaps and bounds, loving the routine and just loves learning in general. Academically they say he is within normal limits for his age, well above for reading. He does have outside support that come in to help with social communication but his teacher (and us!) is delighted with how well he continues to progress.

Lou They do sound very similar. My DS's vocab is also very needs based, and nouns. Vocab isn't advanced enough for conversations yet so is hard to tell whether this is an issue.

I'm encouraged that all your children seem to be doing well/thriving despite any developmental hurdles they've struggled with.

I have noticed that most DC's have been diagnosed with asd, my DS is about to have observations in nursery with a senco and I will see what they say. The nursery have been pushing for this a while so it may be their way of getting a professional authorised opinion for me? He definitely displays a fair few of the red flag symptoms, but it's so difficult to tell whether the social issues are due to possible asd, or are because of the glue ear, or just a speech and language delay.

Eye contact isn't great with other people but I would not notice an issue with me or close family. He loves being praised and will always look at me for a reaction if he does something impressive/naughty. I don't know whether this is the case at his settings though, he does seem to prefer adults and older children so it would not surprise me if he appears indifferent to his peers.