Hi all- I have had quite a few concerns about my son from early on along with the fact we have a higher risk than the average of autism which has always been in the back of my mind.
I am beginning to feel quite isolated and upset that some of my family, friends and health visitors don't take my concerns seriously and have been at times been made to feel neurotic and ridiculous I know he is young but he still has some areas of concern.
My son is almost 14 months, he still doesn't wave, has hardly any receptive language skills understands I think the word 'clap' and 'bird' but nothing else- he has also known the word for clap for several months but not progressed beyond this. He can't follow basic commands or for example if someone said where's mummy or 'mummy's home' he wouldn't look. He doesn't always respond to his name maybe at best 30 percent of the time)and definitely not when he is involved in an activity- he seems hyperfocused, he won't engage in any kind of back and forth activity with me i.e. If I roll a car to him he wouldn't roll it back he would look and then just disappear off with it. he quickly flights and does his own thing or gets quite engrossed in his own activity which is normally just picking up objects and looking at them then crawling or furniture walking with them- he always carries socks or objects with him wherever he goes and I never see any other toddlers doing this. his eye contact is variable- he seems to struggle to gaze at the eyes and it is more of a fleeting glance if anything and mostly stares at people's mouths and he doesn't look back and forth between and item and me, i.e. If I had something in my hand and he wanted it he would stare at and cry at the object trying to grab it but not look at me to give him in. I wouldn't say he is antisocial- he seems (at the minute) interested in people and he would look if someone new arrived but it just doesn't seem the same as other babies- there is a distance.
He craves motion- he wants you to hold him and walk around with him. He hates having his nappy changed , getting dressed, his face being washed, teeth cleaned.
I already feel like I have enough evidence to suggest early signs and risk factors for autism but nobody seems to want to take me seriously or help me. Please mum's have you got any recommendations? I feel really sad both for him because I don't want him to struggle and to be honest me because people are making me feel stupid.
I am trying to support him to develop his understanding of language by using signs, keeping my language simple but he doesn't seem to be progressing as though something is blocking his development. I always try and engage him and play with him but if your child flights or are so engrossed in a remote control (we don't let him watch tv but he likes the remotes) then really what can I do, I can't make him look at me. I have read Hanen more than words and looked at the floortime stuff so I do try and provide communication opportunities or try to use my voice to entice him but what can I do if he doesn't want to be involved- I can't force him- makes me feel like a failure I know it probably sounds selfish and I love my boy but I do feel rejected by him at times and a little like my experience of motherhood isn't quite what I hoped because he is more difficult to interact with. Everyone said oh boys they are so affectionate etc- well he isn't, if I sneak in for a cuddle he pushes me away- he can show affection in other ways but he hates being hugged.
Having said all of the above the one thing I am so pleased about at the minute is he does actually seem to be mostly happy and that ultimately is all I want- I can put my own needs to one side if he is and can be happy regardless of the outcome.
I know I have waffled but thanks for listening.