DS is currently awaiting assessment by behavioural therapist, autism consultant and paediatrician. He has all sorts of issues going on and one of them is that he never toilet trained with regards to pooing. Peeing he got no problem aged 3. As I said he is on the waiting list to see the paediatrician for this.
What I want help with is getting him to either tell me when he has soiled or to go and change himself. Currently he doesn't do either and gets very angry when I ask him if he has soiled (even when it is very obvious he has). He tells me to stop treating him like a baby. it's worth noting that his dad and step mum were punishing him for having accidents until very recently and only through social services intervention at my request have they finally, at least outwardly, accepted this is most likely a medical issue and he isn't deliberately doing it. So there has been a lot of confusing messages for DS regarding this and it's understandable he doesn't feel great about it. From my perspective it has never been punished or reprimanded. I've always just said "ok let's get changed" and mostly he does, sometimes he will refuse and deny there has been an accident.
So how do I get him to let me know as soon as an accident has happened? I am really trying to tiptoe around this because he is so sensitive about it and I want to get it right.
Also, is there anything I can do to get his bowels moving in the morning before school so that he might use the toilet before he goes? Most mornings he refuses breakfast but I'm trying to encourage him to get into the way of it.