School advice please for High functioning Aspergers in Essex

[Spooningleadstoforking]

Hi guys this is my first post so apologies if I'm not using the right lingo!!

I've found myself in the position of having an EHCP for my son but cannot for love nor money find a suitable school.

He is 14, high functioning not Einstein levels but capable of achieving GCSE's and excels in sport - his challenging areas are extreme defiance, very very argumentative (he is obviously always right) not too great with authority, holding grudges against teachers (for months at a time!) - he needs a learning environment with small classes a lot of support and teachers who 'get it', GCSEs, sports. He likes to shout out, tap and bang, take a wander when the urge takes him and remove his shoes during lessons. He is currently in a mainstream school where the above behaviours are not tolerated, he is really struggling and unhappy. The school have agreed they cannot meet the needs on his EHCP.

It may also be useful to mention that he can be violent when in a state of high anxiety/frustration - he has broken his own bones, smashes his head and nearly broken his sisters arm, regularly smashes furniture and other household items (the availability of items is decreasing each time he has a meltdown) he is partial to risk taking behaviours (has attempted to jump out of a moving vehicle, eaten chemicals etc)

We are in Essex, Southend way. The schools in our locality are more at the severe end and cover a broad range of disabilities. Ramsden and cedar hall are not suitable. He doesn't want to be in an autism hub within a mainstream school (not that we have any local to us). We've been to see Unstead Park in Surrey which was amazing but I do not have the funding for anything and I've been told I will 99% not win if I went to tribunal (they also have no spaces for boarding).

If anyone is still reading this as I seem to have gone on for a while - can they recommend anything ?!

Hi, spooningleadstoforking Just seen this post, my son is at Ramsden, your son son is very similar to my son, my son is hf autism with ODD, having trouble at school. Did you find a school? Which one did you go for. We’re looking at other schools to.

Hi if you read this I need some advice please x

To the lady in Southend with child in mainstream whose child is breaking things , violent etc can’t think of many schools. Only Victory Park Academy ( rated good Ofstwd) or st Christopher’s ( rated outstanding Ofsted.) The first one takes excluded children and staff are wonderful with those with difficulties. The other option is home educating and there is support for this in Southend. Has your child been looked at for defiance disorder often goes with autism and cause them to argue etc. I’d a child is breaking their bones maybe school is not a good place for them? Good luck.

Do others have the problem of constant exclusions for autistic primary youngsters diagnosed by Lighthouse who cannot stop meltdown turning violent so get excluded every time in primary. They don’t learn as it’s not conscious violence! Schools have it on policy so it happens. It’s unfair and serves zero purpose . If anything children don’t want to go to school anymore and behave worse! Is it legal and should these policies change as it’s discrimination against children whose brains work very differently when shouted at, argued with or touched or provoked.

Also when you consider a school for a child with autism or odd or adhd check the policy statement before applying. If your child has constant violent meltdowns don’t apply for a school that excludes every time unless you’re happy with that . Some schools autism units won’t even accept challenging behaviour which is u fair as many have aspects of that hence needing the unit!