Still coming to terms with asd referal for ds can anyone help?

[nicand2]

I posted a few weeks ago as my hv refered as my ds has a speach delay and other autistic tendancies. I'm still waiting for an appointment and having lots of mixed feelings. Some days are better and I feel strong enough to be postive and enjoy my lovely boy and other days I feel that life will be such a challenge.

His behavior in particular is worrying me, he has always been as good as gold but has suddenly started proper 'supermarket' tantrums (he's just turned 2) everyone assures me that it is terrible 2's but I can't help worrying that this is how things may be in the future, I find it so hard to cope and I have a 15 week old baby too.

How is asperges different, i think ds's main problems are communication is this asperges?

I don't really know the answers nicand2, but I just wanted to let you know that most mums find a toddler & newborn incredibly challenging - I certainly did. Get as much help as you can. Start internet shopping for groceries, if that is a melt down
I have just been given a diagnosis of Aspergers for my DS who is now 7. I have so much to learn about all of it, so can't give you any advice at all.
I don't know for sure, but I think 2 years old is possibly a bit young for a full diagnosis.
Other than delayed speech, what other symptoms do you think your DS has?

Well he's never pointed which we didn't really notice was a problem as he's our first but apparantly that's a big clue. Then there's lots of other little things which you would hardly notice if it wasn't for the speach delay ie, he likes spinning the wheels on cars, he tends to put new textures to his mouth to feel them and occasionally spins himself a little bit. He doesn't really follow directions but then we assumed that was part of the speach delay. he is a happy boy and understands humour very well and I think he has started to come on a bit since the new year, he's just started taking my hand to get me to open a cupboard or get his juice etc and he's said 'mummy' and 'no' recently (that just about covers all he needs !) I think the thing that frightened me most was that we would never be able to communicate with him but I'm starting to see that there will be some improvement over time.

Hi nicand2

Sorry you're still waiting for an appt; do you have any idea how long it'll be?

I have to say re supermarket tantrums, my 2 nt dcs were much more liable to them at 2 than ds2 who's autistic was. your ds is 2 years old and has a new baby around and that can sometimes be very stressful for both of you. I know that it can be hard to tell what's 'typical' when your child may have other things going on, and you can tend to see everything as a 'symptom'

2 is very young for a diagnosis, I think, but my ds2 started an assessment process in an early years intervention scheme nursery when he was just 3, and though he didn't get an actual diagnosis for a while it meant that he was around knowledgable clued-up staff. It varies in different areas, and obviously no-one knows how your ds will be in future, but if he's 'in the system' at 2 and if he would benefit from intervention he'll hopefully get it as early as poss., which will be a good thing.

Do you have anyone around who can help you? Don't wait until it gets too much.

That's great that he's starting to talk to you, he sounds lovely!

When it became clear that ds, aged 2.10, had a severe speech and langauge dealy and might be autistic, all I cared about was that one day he would be able to speak and have friends. Every child is different but there are similarities between your little one and mine. They both have geat sense of humours and are very lovable. They both could say no and another word. That is very significant! DS is now 5. Over the last two months there has been a massive leap in his languege. He is putting together simple three word sentences and his vocab has increased immesurable. We did not like to assume it would ever happen but every specialist we saw, and we saw many, said that the fact that he could say any word meant that he had the ability to speak and would one day. Since Christmas, I have started to allow myself to hope that one day he will have a vocab that does not make him stand out from anyone else. He may have other difficulties, who knows, but I think he will be able to communicate. Apparently the key age for progress to be made is 5. If it doesn't happen before or during that developmental year, it can be more complicated. I hope this makes sense. The worst time for me was the 2/3 year bit. It will get better!!!! Lots of luckxx

Hi nicand2, I've got three boys, aged 7,5, and 2.

The eldest has a dx of high-functioning autism - he was dx'd when he was 3. I fretted no end over him but he has made fantastic progress and is now managing in mainstream school with only a little bit of extra support.

DS3 is currently being assessed but I am pretty sure he is somewhere on the autistic spectrum and probably a bit further along it (ie more severely affected) than Ds3, but I keep having to remind myself that it is early days and you really can't make any assumptions at this stage.

Try not to worry too much, just keep posting on here for help and support, and I hope you get your appointment soon.

Btw, does he drink a lot of milk? My DS3 was a cows' milk addict! On the advice of another mumsnetter we switched him onto goats' milk and his eye contact has been loads better since then, and he seems more generally responsive and with it.

Thank you all so much, that is all encouraging to hear especially as I'm having a bad day today (mainly due to row with dh on top of everything else life would be so much easier if men weren't so different)

DS is on formula still cow and gate growing up milk and he loves it and drinks loads, i think it may have cows milk in though, i'll check it out.

Another thing he's done every day so far is stick his hands in his nappy after a poo and then come and show me. It's really horrible and is causing so much extra work but I suppose he is trying to communicate, it would just be so much easier if he could vocalise it!

maybe some picture cards would help there then, i think thats actually quite positive as horrible as it is, my 5 yr old would stay in a dirty nappy for days lol, he makes no attempt to tell us. if you do a picture chart or something, which i have not really any experience of tbh, he can then show you instead, and it can work for drinks etc too, my ds has always managed to tell me what he wants, but his speech is quite good now, but at your ds's age of 2, he had no speech at all, he is undiagnosed but most likely aspergers. try not to worry, as someone else said at that stage you cant help but think the worse, i know i did, but to me now he is just my rather challenging, very clever and absolutely adorable little boy. good luck for your appt.

second picture cards! DS1 has a speech delay and ASD and I've started using cards with him, just to tell him to put his coat on, we are going to get in the car and then he's going to the nursery, and his tantrums have definitely calmed down. He is a visual learner and things seem to click better with him if I use pictures. Here's a website that has pictures you can print do2learn