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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

So, this is what it's like to be a parent of an autistic child?!

17 replies

kitegirl · 06/02/2007 15:29

It happened to me today for the first time. Had to take DS1 to the doctor's surgery. He had a meltdown, he SO did not want to be there. He was lying on the floor, whimpering. I tried to pick him up and he screamed his head off. DS1 is three next month. The surgery was full. Everyone's eyes were on me. Smelly old ladies were tut-tuting and I know what they were thinking: 'she can't discipline her child'. I didn't know what to do. We got back in the car, DS1 was fine. I sat there for 15 minutes, sobbing.

He has regressed so quickly, it's scary. This would not have happened two weeks ago. Now he has lost almost all his speech and he just wants to play with things that have wheels. It's like I have lost my little boy. It's heartbreaking.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 06/02/2007 15:32

oh I'm so sorry

TeeCee · 06/02/2007 15:33

So sorry kitegirl

theheadgirl · 06/02/2007 15:39

Kitegirl, I felt like this with my DD3, over one summer it just seemed like I couldn't "reach her" IYKWIM. She was 3 and a half then. Her ASD symptoms aren't typical, as she also has Downs syndrome. But she's now 6, and very affectionate and is making slow progress. Her eye contact has improved so much and she is getting some of the communication skills back that she lost. I felt her diagnosis of ASD was worse than when I found out she had Downs, as autism frightens me. But things have got so much better since that summer when she regressed. I'm sending a hug, and I am sure things will improve with your boy when he gets the help he needs. xxxxx

Dinosaur · 06/02/2007 15:52

kitegirl

Things will get better.

And ignore staring people.

Troutpout · 06/02/2007 15:53

aww kitegirl...chin up sweetie

amynnixmum · 06/02/2007 15:54

poor you and ds

Jimjams2 · 06/02/2007 16:15

kitegirl- what happened 2 weeks ago? Usually if ds1 has a very bad phase its related to something. DO you think he's coming down with something?

Mog · 06/02/2007 16:20

Can I ask what people can do to help in this situation. Genuine question,I would really like to be of some help in such a scenario and not be one of those awful starers. But would feel at a bit of a loss what to do tbh.

Original poster

kitegirl · 06/02/2007 16:25

I have been trying to figure it out but I don't know! he has a cold and has been really tired and spaced out, that's all. His diet hasn't changed at least I don't think so (goes to nursery twice a week). So he can have bad phases but equally good ones? (can you see how I am really clinging to hope here )

OP posts:

Original poster

kitegirl · 06/02/2007 16:28

Mog, one lady (a mum) said to me 'are you ok? you look like you are having a hard time'. That was really sweet. She probably thought DS was just being difficult but it's irrelevant really what the reason is - it's hard and it's nice that someone just says a couple of kind words.

OP posts:

tobysmumkent · 06/02/2007 17:13

Message withdrawn

Chocol8 · 06/02/2007 17:22

I remember years ago when i took my ds to Neale St in Covent Garden on my own, he had a massive meltdown (unlike anything i had ever seen before) and i ended up sitting against the window ledge of the Bodum shop trying in vain to restrain him from hurting himself or me.

All the shopkeepers came out along the street thinking that a child was being torn apart limb from limb!

Most of the people who walked past us in the half an hour we were there either scowled or looked annoyed at the noise and my mind went overboard knowing what they were thinking of me, but I found that a few women (not many) just smiled sadly at me and i smiled back. Sometimes that's all it takes as certainly in my position there is nothing anyone can do as i am always aware that they could get hurt if they try.

Regarding the regression, i found like the others have said that it does improve. I know how you are feeling now, but things will get better in time. (((hug)))

Dinosaur · 06/02/2007 17:25

Mog, we had a discussion about just that eons ago on mn, and the consensus was that a friendly "You look like you've got your hands full there - is there anything at all I can do to help?" or something along those lines was the best bet.

PeachyClair · 06/02/2007 18:09

Oh kitegirl

its ahrd when they regress.

Jimjams2 · 06/02/2007 19:39

kitegirl- are you giving calpol? The sweetners (even in the sugary ones) turn ds1 into a loon - just the way you describe- out of it, but then will flip immediately anything is "wrong". Usually lasts a while after he's had it.

onlyjoking9329 · 06/02/2007 20:09

sorry you are having a difficult time, thing do change kids do move on and things do get easier, but it probably doesn't feel like it will anytime soon

mymatemax · 06/02/2007 21:14

Kitegirl
It's so heartbreaking to watch your child'd distress, as some have already said, I also can usually put DS2s bad patches down to a change in routine or upset.

Ignore those staring thoughtless people, very occasionaly someone offers a hand.
A lovely Man in John Lewis came to my rescue when ds2 jumped out of his major buggy after spilling his drink, the buggy tipped up, shopping went everywhere the ladies on the next table got up & moved as I tried to strip the wet top off ds2 (the only way to stop his sobs)
a man appeared from nowhere picked up my shopping cleared up the mess & offered to get me a drink!
His kindness almost made me cry, staring & tutting just makes me angry.

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