School refusing to support EHCP

[LoveAndACat]

Hi, hope this is the right place to post, if not let me know.
I've pulled my 7yo out of school today and intend to temporarily home school until we are in a position to apply for a special school. He is awaiting diagnosis but has ASD, big sensory processing issues, demand avoidance, he's doubly incontinent and has probable dyslexia and dyspraxia. He's also hyper mobile and suffers with pain in his back and legs.

We've been back and forwards to the school trying to get support in place for 2 full school years now and been knocked back and placated with false assurances. All they have done is allow him onto an emotional support course to help with his extreme anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
I pick him up every lunchtime to change and wash him and help him with his food.

The school have stated that they won't support an application for an EHCP assessment but I've applied directly to the council.

Yesterday though I'd finally had enough. We need an educational health care plan, the school are not meeting his needs, he's working at reception level and he's just started juniors. I'm intending to keep him at home to protect what's left of his emotional and mental health. He's absolutely rock bottom and says he 'feels broken inside' and that he will never find anywhere to 'fit in'. He told me last night that I should take him out into the countryside and leave him in a field because he doesn't deserve to be alive any more. It's utterly heartbreaking and I feel absolutely trapped. How can it be so hard to get him into a school who can support him?

So sorry for the long post, just hoped there might be someone with a bit of advice or reassurance that I'm not doing completely the wrong thing!

You have done the right thing in applying for EHCP youself. Have the school said why they won't support you? you obviously need evidence to back up your application. You are intitiled to homeschool but it's a lot harder to get funding to do so. You probably should think about viewing as many schools as you can so you can find somewhere that will support you and your son as certainly it sounds like you've come to the end of the road where you are.

Just seen this. You son definitely needs an EHCP and you are doing the right thing.

My son has a similar diagnosis - ASD with demand avoidance. Things fell apart for him when he started Juniors - I ended up getting him signed off school with anxiety. (I didn't say I was homeschooling, and didn't de-register him from school, as I was worried that the local authority would not take responsibility for finding him a school place.) The LA ended up funding a place in an independent special school for high-functioning ASD, as it was the only one that could meet DS's needs. He is really happy there and it has changed our lives.

So I would say look at as many schools as you can (including indie ones) and gather as much written evidence as you can to support the EHCP application. How close is your DS to having a diagnosis?

I've just remembered that, as my son was signed off school due to anxiety, we asked for a tutor to come to the house under the hospital education service. I think you only get five hours a week or something, but that might be worth looking into.

Thank you! Just back from the doctors and, although he was completely supportive and shocked at the failure of the school, he claims he can't sign DS off school and advised that we should contact the school to register a formal complaint and detail how we feel they are failing to meet his needs (again) so that we have a slight leg to stand on if th school get in touch with social services. So I'm now completely terrified.

I'm guessing we're a long way off diagnosis, we've seen ed psych and community paediatrician but the wait for speech and language here is something like 16 months and were only 12 months in... GP is chasing up continence and physio appointments.

I knew the GP would be hard work, it took us 3 visits and lots of tears to get him to refer DS to the community paediatrician in the first place. May make an appointment with a different GP at the surgery.

X

Of course he can sign your DS off from school - I'm not sure what the GP is on about! Anxiety is a valid reason. I took in a letter from school detailing DS's behaviour - but you could always document the kinds of things your DS has been saying (if you haven't already) and surely any professional would have to take that seriously. I would definitely see a different GP.

If the school do refer to social services (and how on earth is it helpful of the GP to say that?!) I would expect SS would be shocked by how much your son has been failed by the school - and perhaps they could be helpful in documenting what is happening. Your DS is awaiting diagnosis - I would say pushing that forward is a matter of urgency, as is a referral to CAMHS.

We found that once our DS was out of school things happened a lot more quickly... of course it was a last resort - but as a parent I just couldn't send him in somewhere that he wasn't and didn't feel safe.

Do you have a local Parent Partnership or similar organisation who can support you re the school and EHCP? I would also highly recommend speaking with IPSEA and SOS:SEN (charities who advise on SEN and school-related issues) who both have helplines, or the National Autistic Society helpline.

Parent partnership shoved is to CAHMS, CAHMS shoved us to a funded enterprise who we were already in touch with who were brilliant but have now lost most of their funding. IPSEA website has been great so shall get in touch with all of those, thank you.

Also looking at completely changing GP, he's useless.

Have put in an official complaint with the school to cover us a bit if there is any social services prodding about. X

Oh dear... it sounds like you've been failed by various agencies who should be there to help your child. IPSEA or SOS:SEN are independent and give great advice.

That's great you've got the official complaint in, re school. It's so exhausting having to do all these things when you just want to be there to support your child. Please try not to worry about SS. I am glad you are looking at changing GP as well. X

GP is an idiot, but maybe the paediatrician could do a letter when you see him?

If you've asked for an Education, Health and Care Plan make sure they keep to the time limits and don't faff round waiting for diagnoses. They have six weeks from when they received your request to tell you whether they're going to do an assessment, if they don't meet that threaten judicial review.

By the way, generally there's more traffic in the SN children board.