improving lack of understanding

[MerlinsBeard]

This is probably in the wrong place and i apologise if it is but i would greatly apprieciate your input.

DS1 has an odd lack of understanding. He takes things literally eg this mornign i joked around telling him there was no porridge because our house rabbit had eaten it all in the night. HE had to check the rabbit was in its cage and asked DP if it was true.
ANother example...you can point to a cup that is inches from your finger and ask him tp pass it to you. He can't folow a point (never has been able to) and will look everywhere for this cup. If he eventually finds it he doesn't always realise that thats what i want.

I have a few niggles anyway which i am paying attention to bearing in mind he is only almost 4 but this lack of understanding is not only confusing but also frustrating. If i aske dthe same thing to my nearly 2 yo he woul dbe able to pass me the cup.

Is tehre a way to increase understanding gently? is it cause for concern? or something else.

when i say folow a point i mean that he can't folow your finger to see what its pointing at

No advice, Just bumping for you

I know what you mean about things that you feel should come completely naturally, but don't seem to. However, even if your ds doesn't seem to have developed certain things instinctively, it doesn't mean he can't learn them - my ds has had to do that sort of learning. The essential thing is that he wants to have a go - at eg trying to follow a point.

The idea is that you break whatever it is into tiny steps and practice it over and over again, like a game. So, for following a point, you could hide a favourite toy or treat and then get him to see if he can find it by following either your finger pointing, or, as I did with my ds, "eye"-pointing - where you stare fixedly at where it is and he has to work out where your eye-beam is leading.

For taking things literally, the best approach we've found is lots and lots of jokes, and getting him to try out jokes on us - so that he can see that double-meanings, absurdity, whatever, can be fun.

Does your son have any kind of diagnosis?

It sounds as though it might be worth asking for a referral to a Developmental Paed to see if there's a reason for the lack of understanding.

I don't know if this will work for your ds but with my ds2 I had to teach him step by step about what pointing meant. To start with my finger would touch the cup while I was pointing to it. When he eventually got the hang of that stage I would have my finger pointing from a distance of about 1-2cm and eventually he got the idea. The distance was increased very slowly. All of this took 6mths+. Ds2 still has trouble following a point (he's nearly 4) but has the general idea about why the person is holding out their finger, even if he can't always work out what they're pointing at.

A SALT should be able to help build up understanding. They start at a very basic level and introduce names of objects. After that they will move on to "Where is the x?" questions. This is then followed by things like "Give teddy the cup".

Thank you for advise,

Aloha, no diagnosis, i just thought that if i could get some decent advise abouty it then here wouldbe the right place to ask it.

Coppertop and bink, i will try doing those things with him. Feels like he got to a certain stage and then stopped in some areas but carried on developing in others.

Have asked his teachers to make a point of noticing whether he has any difficulties with instruction. They are already dealing with his selective deafness thing...he will, on occasion, ignore you unless you are in his line of vision. There are no deafness issues, his hearing is fine altho we haven't had him officially tested.

I think coppertop has a good suggestions. Are there any other things that concern you?

i have a few niggles but they are things that could just be part of his personality.

He is only 3.9 so i am trying to keep everything in perspective. No major worries other than his lack of understanding.
Socially he is mostly fine, his use of language is generally good and his behaviour is typically 3 yo on most days

i hate to be one of those posters that posts and runs but i only had a few mins.

Thank you for all replies