I've just cuddled my first grandaughter for the 1st time!!!

[MissesF]

...well to be honest..she is my Step-Grandaughter!

She's almost 7months old and it has taken my stepson this long to make contact (we last saw him regularily 8 years ago)

he's got Aspergers/ADHD and has been in prison- so to see him now at 24yrs old as a dad....refering to my husband as 'grandad' is so wonderful.

my husbands divorce from his mum was messy- and we had years of hassle just getting access agreed through court to se the boys.

then my SS unfortunately stole from my MIL and his own mum decided at that point she had to get the police involved as up to then he had only stolen from his immediate family.

but from that point on she forbid him from having any contact with his dad or his 'other family'.

and then he was in prison for a few months....and our only contect for years has been the odd wave as we passed by.

so last week he turned up (alone) and asked if he could start visiting!!!!

He said he now understood how my DH felt all those years ago...as his reltionship with the baby's mum is not too good...and he is only allowed to see her 3 times a week....and she still cannot trust him alone with the baby....but over the past few weeks apparenly things have been better.

basically he said for the first time ever that noone else could ever be his dad....and that this baby needed to know all her family.

so how often we will meet- i don't know....the baby's mum is a very mature 18 year old....very chatty...very friendly....and a good influence on my step son.....and keen to keep contact going.

she even bought a card for my boys which was for 'Uncle DS1,DS2,& DS3'...as my boys are now uncles!

so...for me this is not just exciting...its also something i never coulkd have imagined all those years ago when my SS was excluded from school...sent to a special school for aspergers at 14yrs....prison at 16....daddy pushing a pram at 24.

and to cuddle this gem of a baby...who drank her bottle...smiled..blew bubbles...and follwed a point (!!!!!)....was the icing on the cake.......my ds3 was in his element with her too...such a lovely 3 hours!

Hope things just keep getting better with your DSD from now on, MrsF!

(Ooops, DSS I mean)

oh thats lovely to hear Mrs F, i hope that you can build on your relationship with your SS, where,ve you been by the way, ive had loads of questions about laminating and velcro but no Mrs F!!!!!!!

Seriously though i very happy for both you and your DH and your boys.

hi jenk...my husband ruptured his achiles tendon on nov 4th and was in 1/2 leg plaster till 10 days ago! so for what feels a lifetime i have been caring for 4 kids not 3!
he genuinely was unable to do so much he'd normally do- particularily driving and bathing the boys....
the hardest bit really is that he was off work 10 weeks- and he kept wanting me to take him out....and that was then the extent of my 'not going out the house much at all now-a-days' hit me...i really did not feel ok going out...and some of these excurions involved visiting my inlaws...who over the years have not believed how i feel/cope is HOW I FEEL/COPE...so i dreaded gong up his mums....

but infact they were WONDERFUL....no more digs at me for not working...or that i ought to 'snap out of it'...or offers that they would 'help me with the boys'...IF I WAS AT WORK...etc...

more along the lines of what felt like they BELIVED ME! (my OCD has got worse over the past year...and his mum even 'shared' some of her what i can only desribe as obbsessive/rituals....)

so now hubby is back at work....and the house is back to its usual routines...the boys struggled with him being home all the time...they're behaviour has settled noticebly since he returned to work.

so...hopefully you are ok too....i read your awful experience at hospital last week...i really wish people would take us seriously.

Awwwwww! Congratulations MissesF.

Good news about the in-laws too.

Should we start calling you GrannyF now?

yes...i did think i'm about due a name change!!! ....may wait and see if we actually get to see her agin before i do!!! I know that's negative...but i feel a real grouch today...and the reality of this little baby has kicked in now... i can see me getting emotionally 'bonded' then cos of the way my Stepson is ...and the fact that his relationship with the babies mum is so 'on/off'... that me imagining 'summer bar-b-q's...and posh tea parties on sundays...' as a 'family' may be a bit too imaginative!

so i'm trying to pace myself... i have some lovely photos of her/my DH (grandad) and me...with her...and a couple of her with her mum & dad....so i will pop them in a frame and enjoy looking...and hoping we do get to know her.

Oh that's lovely