Transatlantic move with an Asperger's child

[Anoah]

Arghhh I need a little advice if anyone has a spare minute.

I (American) and DH (British) have decided to move back to the USA after 8 years in the UK. Having three young children (two with special needs) and both of us working full time with no family support is taking it's toll. So we are going back to my hometown near my family. One of us will work and the other can stay home.

I think this is the right decision but I am really worried about DS. He will have to start at a new school, deal with getting used to American accents, different food etc. etc. I feel like this may be really cruel and it will set him back a bit. This kid is 110% British, he loves England and is very settled at school now. He cannot deal with simple changes to routine.

I kind of feel that if we are going to go it is now or never because the kids are 6,4, and 2. But I am also wondering if we should wait until DS is older hoping that he will cope better. I really don't know what to do. Any advice? Has anyone made a big move, changed schools with a kid who is ASD?

hi anoah, I've no experience of such a big move, but my 4 yr old is dx aspergers and has just started mainstream school.
Everyone's experience is different, but i know that my being at home means a lot to my ds1 because it's always me that drops him at school and i had the time to take him to visit his school many times before he started and he's had a very good transition from pre-school. i couldn't have done this without the support of my inlaws who live locally and help with my younger ds and dd(who really benefit from their attention). I do find i can set things up to be as calm as possible when we get home because i've done all the other stuff before i collect him. in short i think that family and the luxury of a stay at home parent is not to be dismissed.
i'm sure you've found that preparing for things really helps - how much of your new life could you set up before you go - then you could show him photos / get family to take videos before you go.
How has he been on trips away - we find our ds takes at least 4 days to calm down and longer to really start enjoying things.
I have several friends who've moved abroad and the consensus does seem to be the younger the children the better.
Good luck with what ever you decide!

My instinct having AS myself and remembering what i was like as a child and also having 2 kids with ASD is not to wait until he,s older.

The older he gets the more harder it will be for him to adapt to change as he will have gotten so used to his everyday life/routine.

We are getting ready to move house and DS is distraught, he,s 10 and doesnt want to move at all.

We moved once before when he was 4 and although he was a bit sad its nothing like he is at the moment.

HTH