I'm largely sure DD has ADHD. She ticks all the boxes. I've lost count of the times I've cried to DH that she doesn't seem to have developed far since she was 3 (she's 5 now), which seems unfair because she can learn things very well but emotionally, behaviourally, etc. she's still very much the same. I've suspected for a while, because I have it and she's so like me.
She's not fully struggling in school, a lot is being put down to her poor hearing (awaiting op to hopefully resolve that). At the same time they've marked her down for her poor communication skills 
and seem to expect her to be at a par with her peers who don't have issues. She's not dim and she's not the biggest trouble maker so she is largely ignored unless I bring up issues or she does something overt. I have little faith that they would be observant enough to notice ADHD symptoms - when questioned she doesn't respond well and they've just written her off as obstructive and naughty, I had to remind them that she can't hear well ffs. DD will talk if you can spend the time with her and talk in a way she understands.
DD also gets very rigid ideas in her head that you can't override. For instance if she'd been told by DH to go downstairs but I said 'can you do me a favour, tell daddy that mummy needs x', she wouldn't understand that for the time of that request she can go back upstairs. She would either get upset at the conflicting instruction, go upstairs but then not relay the information and get upset if DH tells her off for disobeying or she would just say 'mum says I can come up' and then not acknowledge any request from DH to go downstairs ever again. And there's little likelihood of me getting x either!
Because of ongoing wetting issues solely at school, where the rigid ideas are causing problems, I've requested a meeting with her teachers and head to try to get the ball rolling but I'm unsure if that was the right thing to do.
Any advice would be gratefully accepted.