Help suggestions needed

[Tonis2297]

So things have went from okish to drastically worse in the last 2 weeks , ds isn't sleeping at all he's going down at 3am and back up at 7am the meltdowns are getting so much worse took him to the opticians on Wednesday and he was head butting me biting spitting etc and the looks pointing and tuts got too much and I ended up walking out in tears I can't cope like this anymore I've requested an earlier appointment with paed (supposed to see her in June at some point ) I can't do it anymore I feel like I'm completely failing him as I just don't understand him at all ughhh why is this so bloody difficult !!

So sorry to hear this. It must be really hard. We found the Carole Stratton Webster book Incredible Years really helpful for reducing the anger & anxiety and increasing positive times together. You can see a preview on Amazon. Might be worth a look - making sure we praise DS (rather than nag/threaten) and agreeing a safe place for calming down have helped a lot. Hope it helps you too

Melatonin for sleep and read The Explosive Child!

Avoid situations which are likely to trigger meltdowns, obviously you have to go to appointments but avoid stuff that you can.

Reduce demands and use gadgets, ear defenders, sunglasses to reduce sensory overload!

my ds was like this and still has his moments. I have really loved occupational therapy for working out his triggers and having alternatives.
I went private to speed everything up.

Sorry you are going through this. DS has hfa and we are having a nightmare with having guests staying over. You'll have days that are better. Understanding his triggers helps somewhat.

Truly did OT help?

I second the Explosive Child and also the Out of Sync child for OT strategies you can use yourself. How old is your DS? I found the Out of Sync child most useful for younger DC (7 and under) and the Explosive Child for school age DC.
When you see the paed do ask for a melatonin prescription for his sleep. Improving sleep is a big help and makes it less difficult to cope during the day (for both of you). Are you keeping a diary of his sleep? It will help when you see the paed.

@sh77 I'm a it evangelical about OT at the moment!

I love the suggestions his OT came up with and how she was able to label his experiences. Really helpful. It's still early days but I'm very happy and he loves going.

His sleep has definitely improved.