Hi all,
I rarely post anymore but been following this page for years. DD (6) has severe autism - it went from mild to severe in the past 6 months or so, she's also fully non verbal, and over the years it has had such a hit on our couple. For years we were super united, despite the lack of sleep and everything, but lately everything is just crumbling.
DH works full time and I stopped working 6 years ago, creating an initial imbalance between him being the hardworking breadwinner and me totally dependent on him and having to manage the reduced family budget.
DD's autism has been really tough - as I'm sure you all know - terrible sleep, impossible to go out do normal things like restaurants, movies etc. Lately she's been very unwell with lots and lots of screaming which totally drain me during the day. Over the years I've been trying my best to stay as patient and understanding with DD's meltdowns as I possibly could. Not always but mostly at least. Then typically DH comes home tired from work, and has zero patience for any screaming or meltdowns - starts shouting/swearing about "him having no life" and that I'm "not strict enough with her", and that I'm "neglecting him".
Which makes me so mad. Is that a typical SN dad thing to say??
Been feeling lately that I'm managing his mood swings/bad temper just as often as DD's mood swings and meltdowns and that's just wrong. He doesn't have special needs or any sort of neurological disorder!
Anyway, I'm guessing we're a classic case. I find him quite neglecting as a father, always too tired to interact with her, he does love her more than anything, but his only interaction with her is just tickles and telling her off when she's too loud. He just doesn't try - DD knows this and only ever asks me for all the things she needs.
Not easy to implement PECS because of that!
I'm seriously losing my patience with him being so negligent as a father, and I think since DD's dx my patience was the only thing keeping us together - as well as the financial aspect obviously. I want us to stay together more than anything but we're both becoming so impatient with each other and so worried for DD who just does not progress at all, despite everything we've done/tried.
I must also say we've just bought a house so the finances are even more stretched.
I would be really grateful for tips on how to save our couples - any ideas...
thank you
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
DD's autism destroying my couple - any tips?
eskimomama · 16/04/2016 21:35
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