Does anyone have a daughter diagnosed with ADD/ADHD?

[WhirlwindHugs]

Hi,

My daughter has just turned 7 and has always been a bit non-typical but we have struggled to get anyone outside the family to notice.

History includes lateish walking (18 1/2mths) and then huge difficulties getting her to do utility a to b walking right up until 5. Daily meltdowns over this at 3/4. Very difficult to potty train (there was some undx lactose intolerance) was having regular accidents until after she started school at 4.5. Very echo-y play as a toddler/preschool, but the 'do you want a cup of tea' twenty times kind so not very noticeable if you weren't spending all day with her. She is imaginative now.
Definitely had sensory trouble up to 5/6 but that seems to have lessened.
Doesn't have meltdowns anymore but definitely did used to. We couldn't get through to her at all and had to make her room her safe space. She still tries to hide sonewhere enclosed/small when she is upset.

She comes across as very bright to talk to but her written work doesn't reflect that, good reading skills/age but makes constant mistakes. Her memory is dire.

School have agreed she very likely has dyslexia/dyscalcula and we are waiting for that assesment but they say her behaviour is good at school so we haven't raised the 'is their more?' with them yet.

She ignores her friends when they say hello, doesn't seem to read social cues from them very well.
She has an ongoing rift with another girl who is very huggy which DD can't stand, gets overwhelmed and will start saying she hates the child to make her stop.
She is very good at entertaining herself but can't work out what kind of play is appropriate unless heavily steered by someone else. So if I am sat in a waiting room with her I can keep her quietly entertained and she is fine, but as soon as we're in the meeting room and my attention has to be with someone else she will climb all over the room to amuse herself instead of something that means sitting still.
We use a weighted lappad at home to get her to sit still for homework and to skype relatives.
She behaves well at school but struggles to concentrate. Last year they were putting her on the low sensory desk or giving her TA support because otherwise she wasn't getting anything done. This year is better but they are still putting her on small tables to try and stop her being distracted.
Also sometimes she doesn't do what she's supposed to and they don't pick her up on it. She gets poor effort marks for PE because she doesn't pay attention.

I worried about autism but a lot of those symptoms seem to have lessened and I don't think she is anymore. DH has thought about ADD the whole time... Given that she's not disruptive at school I assume they won't support us and it might be better to see an Ed Psych privately.

Which makes me wonder when we should do it? Will there come a point where it becomes more obvious and diagnosis is easier?

If anyone has a DD with ADD how old were they when they were diagnosed?

There's more stuff, but I don't want to make it an essay! She's the eldest of 3 and as long as she can do her own thing she is fine. Doesn't attention seek, she does do random impulsive things at home but not dangerous, and possibly not more than any other 7yo. At home we only have trouble when we need her to concentrate.

DD was 22, when diagnosed with ADD and some hyperactivity a few weeks ago. She plans to share a flat soon, with another girl her own age, diagnosed last year.

We had to look back at her whole childhood, through the teens up to the present day. The problems in primary weren't too bad - because homework was not too demanding, just spellings, reading picture books, etc. She did not have much responsibility.

She can talk about how she could never pay attention in lessons; and then never knew what she was supposed to be doing in a task. She had to ask her classmates what to do - even when they had explained it, she still didn't listen and had to ask them again. Then, they got cross!

She says she feels full of energy, particularly in the mornings - she has to jump around, and make strange noises to let it out. Then she is better in the day; but she finds sitting in a workshop for 2.5 hours almost intolerable - but she knows its socially not acceptable to get up and walk out. She can contain the hyperactivity, and not run around the classroom, but she fidgets constantly. Drives everyone around her mad!

The problems really showed up at secondary. She can't understand what she reads. She has massive organisation problems - I found 10 calculators in her bedroom recently, because she kept telling me she had lost hers and I bought her another! She never filed her notes away at A-level - you can imagine 2 years of notes all over her bedroom floor in a big heap, mixed up with clothes, make up, etc....

She has mucked up exams quite a few times, because she did not read the instructions properly and missed out big chunks of questions.

I would not rely on a school to notice it in a girl! DD was diagnosed by a psychiatrist. She is going to try Ritalin. I imagine CAHMS are the people to ask for a child?

She still sounds quite Asd to me whirlwind!

Girls present really differently to boys so I would recommend reading some girl specific stuff!

I put a video up a while ago of Tony Attwood talking about a female presentation of Asd/Aspergers, I will see if I can find it.

The difficulties with written work are really common with Asd too, dyslexia is a common co morbid.

Obviously on here we are only giving opinions.

vimeo.com/122940958

22! Oh dear. I can see DD doing that with the calculators. We have visual signs for stuff like flushing the loo and taking her bag to school but she still doesn't remember!

Secondary age was what I had in mind. But it does seem a long way right now.

I do come back to ASD sometimes, but she does have some reasonable social skills, some friends, and I don't think the traits she does have are having that big an impact on her life at this stage, so I don't think she has enough traits that she would qualify for diagnosis. I am definitely keeping it in the back of my mind that she might be mimicing though, and that it might come up in the future. The video was very interesting, thank you - I do think how she copes will the teen years will probably make things clearer.
I do feel a bit burned about ASD because I raised it with her preschool at 3 and they were very much of the well, she has good eye contact and plays with others so she must be fine school of thought.

In my experience, the vast majority of pre school or school staf would not spot a female presentation of Asd, they might see somemof the traits but they wouldnt join the dots.

My Dd3 is the queen of masking, most teachers who worked with her didnt spot her Asd even with a diagnosis!

I think it would be worth asking your GP to refer your Dd to a developmental paediatrician to see if they can do some investigations into her issues before she hits secondary school.

Good luck

She sounds exactly the same as my DD, who has just turned 9.

We have a much older DS with ADHD so we knew it was a possibility. I raised it at 3 but got nowhere. She was referred to a paed not long after starting school, who said there was nothing wrong with her, and to Bibic, who said there definitely was.

She was referred again a year later and this time the paed (a different one) said she ticked all the boxes. She also has dyspraxia and we have self-dx dylexia as well, as there is such a huge difference between her understanding and her written work. She was assessed by an Ed Psych at school who said she scored off the charts in tests yet by written work is functioning about 2 years below where she should be.

I have just also had a dx myself of ADHD with ASD (though they say it isn't worth having a full ASD assessment as I'm 52) in the last month.

Thanks Ineed

Indan - just been reading the bibic website, looks like a really good place to start thanks for mentioning them. So frustrating when we have to keep going backwards and forwards like this, glad to hear your daughter has now got her diagnosis. Was it a developmental peadiatrician who did the official diagnosis?

She's a community paediatrician with a particular interest in ADHD.

Thanks indan, we've seenvthe community pediatrician before (I tried to get her diagnosed with sensory processing at 5) and he was extremely strange - wouldn't diagnose because the school were using a low sensory desk for her so she was coping and didn't need it ... so will have to investigate to see if we can be a bit more specific about who we see.

We lost her at a park yesterday. She had no idea why everyone was worried when we found her.