Do christmas and birthdays really get any easier?

[lourobert]

I posted a litle while ago about how sad I was as this was my sons first christmas since his dx. Last chirstmas I was thinking that he'd be mobile, ripping up and eating all the paper.....just a 'normal' 14 month old at christmas time.

My son has Williams syndrome and infantile spasms. It was so hard going into all the shops and seeing all the toys that I would have lke to been buying for my ds.....it probably sounds very pessmisitic but I imagine that every christmas is going to be filed with dread now as will every birthday.

I guess things do get easier with time,god, its only been 8 months since his dx....feels like a lifetime...!!

what is williams syndrome lourobert

DS1 is 7- severely autistic and I find Christmas and Birthdays very difficult to be honest. Felt very guilty this year as I'd been doing my usual xmas mope around when ds2 said "wow isn't this the best xmas ever" or something, so tried to jolly myself along a bit. TBH once ds1 learned to open presents (about age 5 or 6) christmas got better.

I still find birthdays very depressing though- it's the passage of time, and a year later having a child who still can't talk etc, and each year the gap gets wider and wider. I just expect to be down for a few weeks around ds1's birthday now, and from this year on won't take any work on for a few weeks after it- made that mistake last year and was barely capable of doing it.

Williams syndrome is a micro-deletion of chromosome 7. Cases a typical facial appearance, mild to moderate LD, possible heart problems but to name a few. My ds is likely to be more severly affected due to the seizures.

Jimjams- Can totally relate to your feelings although Ive only start started on this journey. Even though people know Louis they still gave him toys that he may never possibly play with....that was hard, there in a box that hopefully ill be getting down one day.

I look forward to the christmas that Ds can open his pressies, maybe Ill be waiting another 5 years but it'll be well wort the wait.

Is your son your first child Jim jams?

sorry just read your post again and I can see he is your first....! My ds is my only child

I think it got a little easier for dd1 this year - as this is the first year she really got birthdays - well as much as she could - she also attended a couple of parties. Christmas was a little confusing - she kept wishing everyone happy birthday when she would give them their present BUT we don't really 'do' father christmas here and so that makes it a little easier.

However as jj said it also brings home the gap between dd1 and other children her age ( she is 4 and has down syndrome)

We were getting presents that really were not appropriate for her - especially from my mum who wants to be 'fair' and so all the grandkids ( all 4 girls same ages - 2 and 4) get exactly the same presents..... for a while it was absurd as dd1 had no interest BUT we are gradually seeing her be able to play with them.

Now I just try to make suggestions to people as to what would be suitable. Most people do ask or 'check' with me iyswim.

Hope that helps.

Ime it has got easier but not because DS has developed any understanding of Xmas or birthdays but because we don't "feel" it so much and have "let go" of it. We still get him a nice present but there's no pretence at doing Xmas although DD, who is 3.5, makes up for it now. On his birthday we have found ourselves at an adventure playground session for children with ASD and sibs/families and I just take cake and crisps etc there so we celebrate but he doesn't have to participate in anything meaningless to him.

Obviously I hope that with time my ds will become more aware and learn to open presents and get excited etc but I do take your point Davros whereby you learn to adapt and 'let go' as time goes on.

I mean my ds had great fun this christmas with some tinsel- hes loves the feel of it and really grabbed on itght when we were playing with him ....so Im sure I will always be able to take somethine out of christmas- I just think this being the first it was hard.

in my situation it has got worse
ds2 is nearly 10 and I cry alot over the xmas and birthday times as I have to wreck my head as to what to get him as presents

there are only so many lights you can but tbh as they are what he likes looking at
but this year got him his very own fish tank with tropical fish
he smiled when he seen them

How lovely doormat.......!!

doormat, what a great present idea! I will store that one away as I also (like many) have to wrack my brains every birthday and Xmas. So pleased he responded to it and liked it.

that sounds like a fab present, doormat...
I've run out of ideas for dd2 (5) as well (she has GDD/SLD), both she and I have had enough of plastic baby toys that make noises when you press buttons...