Thank you cards from children unable to do their own- what do you do?

[Jimjams2]

OK let me start (before I get a roasting) by saying that I do think saying thank you is important. However, there is something about doing ds1's that depresses the hell out of me. And I resent doing it (not because I resent having to thank people- it just makes me resent our life). He's 7- he "should" be able to produce something of his own. He obviously can't. He doesn't/can't draw so sending a picture is out. He hates things like handprints and doing craft activities with him is incredibly hard work anyway because he wanders away after 2 seconds. He obviously has no concept of thank you, or a gift being from someone anyway.

So what do you do? I'm thinking of importing a photo of him into a symbol writing package and putting thank you for your present in symbols underneath, then adding that in with ds2's thank you letters. Anyone else have any other answers to this?

I think what you are suggesting sounds lovely

Even although mine could write 'proper' thank you notes, I still prefer to make a card with a Christmassy photo of the two of them on, and a pre-printed message which they can then add a personal comment to.

Having said that, DD is thinking of sending an e-thankyou card which tbh most of her present givers would be thrilled with. I suppose we should keep up with the times on matters such as this

i know i dont celebrate xmas and dont have much of a clue about the etiquette things but i just wanted to echo what soapbox has said about e-cards.

My dad who we are 99.9% has AS doesnt talk much to me or my siblings and goes into other rooms when we visit but he often sends me e-cards for different things and i feel so chuffed when he does cos i know he cant communicate how he feels well, i think its a really lovely way of saying thankyou or other things.

HTH

oh god I'd far rather do an ecard where possible, although that would be obvious that it was nothing to do with ds1. Perhaps I could get ds2 to do them on behalf of the 3 boys.... hmmmmm If I had a photo of all 3 of them I could use that, but that's pretty impossible to get!

If I was to be a recipient I would be happy with whatever you come up with jj. The symbol idea sounds fab - a pic with him using the present - if possible..... realise that may not be possible - then a note from you saying thank you.

What if you did a cut and paste with three pics - one of each of the boys and got ds2 to do the thanking iyswim....

ha ha I think that's optomistic eidsvold It's very hard to get photos of ds1 where his eyes don't look half shut, and very hard to get ones of him facing the camera. I'll probably just find a good one from a year or so ago and use that! ds2 on the other hand over poses and pulls a daft smile so I have the extremes.

I would just send a nice photo of ds1, that would be enough for me.

Then it ends up me having to write a card to accompany the photo though and I can't begin to tell you how much a I resent that. It's like a big punch in the face now he should be doing his own, or at least capable of producing something- even if just a picture or his name and he's not, he's nowhere near. Silly I know, but the reason I find xmas difficult- the big gap between what we "should" be doing and what we actually do! Symbols it is I think!

Go with what makes you feel the least uncomfortable.

oh you're right - and you know the people who understand always say to me :you dind't have to do that-we don't exppecty it you'ce got enough on" etc- but its kind of beiing instilled in us.

jj I am thinking of doing marble painting and then printing a note on the pc to paste on it.

Marble painting

paper in a container, different coloured paints on the paper, put some marbles or balls of some kind in and move the container around to produce a painting..... is that an option???

Then I thought just a small printed note on pc from both girls and glued on when dry?!?!?!

he wouldn't do it though eidsvold- he'd just walk off! sounds lovely though!

Just tell people that you haven't sent Thank You cards as you will be donating the money to charity and ditto for Xmas cards from now on and then do so!!! I wish I had thought ahead this year and put a note in our Xmas cards to say we will make a donation instead next year although I would still send quite a few I could also cut out a lot that way and I'm happy to genuinely make a donation.

Something I still do occasionally, even though my dds can do their own, is to print off a photo of them, maybe playing with the gifts, and draw on speech bubbles like "Thank you very much Auntie!" or "I love this!" & "See you soon!".

The recipients usually phone me after and say how much they appreciate it!

jj - just done ours - and had a thought....

I just looked through the folder of paintings etc that dd1 did at kindy this year and picked one for each recipient ( only about 8) and wrote a note on each of those?!?!

any help??

no- ds1 really doesn't do paintings. We do get stuff sent home from school (was amazed to be sent photos of him making a clay tile), but its usually quite special stuff for us iyswim. He's at a pre-drawing stage and doesn't really get the point of that. I could give him a pen and paper and say draw then button- and he's do a scribble and get a chocolate button but it wouldn't mean anything (and would take for ages as his attention would be about zero for that sort of thing).