First christmas since dx and finding it so hard.

[lourobert]

This is the first christams since my sons dx and Im finding it so hard. Hes 14 months and not at all interested in toys or anything- wonder whether he ever will be. Just makes me sad.

So sorry you're feeling that way Lou....are there things he is interested in, will he notice christmas lights? Could you take him on a special christmas walk to look at the lights or something along those lines? Maybe christmas this year will be about much smaller more focussed things than the general presents/meal type day but that doesn't mean it will be awful.

And I guess you had your son's dx this year so it must have been a hell of a time for you...why not be kind to yourself and do some things just for you, to celebrate christmas for you or you and DP/DH? A special candlelit meal in the evening/champers/beer/dvd to watch together just to acknowledge you've got through this year! Maybe have a manicure or something to make yourself feel good before the holidays iykwim?

And I think allow yourself to be sad for your ds. It IS sad that he can't enjoy toys - it's what we want for our kids, isn't it...

There are things that hes interested in- like the lights and tinsel and hes given loads of opportunity to explore these. I just get a bit sad when I see nice toys for 12+ months- thought this christmas would be so diffrent than it has turned out to be. Had visions of him opening presents. Its just going to be different i guess but not necessarily any worse!

I think Christmas can be hard. My db seems to be hell-bent on some sort of "dressing-up" outfit for DS3. I've tried to make it clear to him tactfully that it really won't be a runner, but I don't think the message has got home!

And my parents have bought a rocking-horse for DS3, and I don't think he'll go anywhere near it!

And sometimes I feel okay about these things, and sometimes they can make me well up in tears.

I agree its a very difficult time of year. You have to think round corners to find things of interest. My ds1 is 3 yrs and ASD. I too have had many ignored presents. Its only now I'm getting my head round the things he enjoys rather than what I want him to enjoy. I've learnt to keep it simple and ignore the ages described by the toy manufacturers. What do they know!!!!!!!!!!!!