Urgent advice needs re EHCP for 3yo

[FletchersMum]

Just coming to terms with the idea that my 3.5yo DD1 might be on the spectrum. It has all escalated quite quickly. Long story but I need advice on the best way forward to getting her an EHCP so that its in place for when she starts reception in September. I am hoping all of you in here who have been through the process can advise me please.

Brief overview: DD is 3.5 years old. Has hyper sensitive hearing (recently diagnosed with Hyperacusis) terrified of hand dryers, motorbikes, clapping etc. Hates sun in her eyes, water on her skin, wind on her face, trousers feel "too tight", fussy eater who takes 1 hr to pick at dinner. Still not toilet trained, doesn't indicate when she needs to go and often doesn't say when she has wet herself. Bites nails and toenails, licks hands. Basically I think SPD but no formal diagnosis yet.

Referred to Paed re hearing and excessive water drinking / toilet training delay. Initial report suspects Social Communication Disorder as she doesn't have te narrow interests of an Aspie and has no language delay. Paed confirmed significant sensory issues around noise. She also mentioned aspergers /ASD but isn't sure. Have been referred to OT, SALT and a panel assessment for final diagnosis. None of these appointments have come through yet.

DD has speech and language of a 5 year old, can already read and count and has a phenomenal memory. She is at school nursery 5 mornings, their recent observation at request of paed said she cries excessively every day over minor things, wanders around looking "lost", has outbursts of anger and throws herself on floor. When pushed about the issue of an EHCP, the school SENCO has said in her opinion, "yes she will need an EHCP for reception." And has put her on SEN register.

But then SENCO talks of an extremely lengthy process of first of all asking their EP to do an assessment before deciding whether the school will apply for an EHCP assessment.

I want to know whether I should apply now myswlf although the only 2 pieces of evidence I have are Paed initial report with unconfirmed dx and nursery observation report? Should I get in a private EP/OT/SALT to do assessments? I could get my GP to write a report, also the HV who has known her since birth.

If truth be told I want her to attend a different school nearby that has a sensory room and a very caring head. No way I will get her in there on distance, would need an EHCP but no way this will be ready by the schools application deadline of 15th Jan.

Any advice about best way to proceed most gratefully received. Have dw-badged for this one, I am in SW London area.

And try to get some sleep!

No one can function without sleep!

Be kind to yourself

Don't wait for the nursery to apply for an EHCP. Even if they agree, they're not going to touch it before Christmas, and after that they'll probably mess around for some time before sending everything off.

Thanks for the flowers Ineed but I am still awake (!). Insomnia strikes again. 2boys you sound like me. I am usually of the scorched crater approach. Trying to tread carefully to keep nursery on side but also mainly cos I don't know how far to push. I'm still figuring out this new territory.
Dipan I hear you. It's hard to know what to do. Others here are saying I will prob be turned down as a parent applying. Will see what nursery decide this week and then make a decision whether to plough ahead myself. Goodnight everyone. You are probably all sensibly asleep, but thank you all again. Thank god for forums like this or I would be completely in the dark.

I have learned more from this board and had better support than from anywhere else since Ifirst found it when Dd3 was 8! She is 13 now and I am still here getting support and hopefully giving some back now!

Good luck with your meeting !

Update: nursery have not given a decision re EHCP application now despite temporary Senco and her teacher saying she will need an EHCP for reception. Upshot is they say they'll wait till perm SENCo returns in January, wait for her to "get to know" my DD, get their Ed Psych in to assess her, then have a meeting to discuss his report and decide whether to apply for EHCP assessment. So my guess is I'm looking at Feb or March to even get nursery decision to apply. Temp Senco says perm one will have loads to catch up on so my case will not be top priority.
I am thinking of applying myself in Jan. would you all recommend getting an Ed Psych in privately? Can anyone recommend one in SW London area?
Thanks in advance.

Yes, do not wait for the senco to return! It will not be done in time!

If you can afford to get independent reports then they will be helpful even if everything goes smoothly because NHS and LA proffs rarely specify provision in their reports, they are often wooly and then the LA dont write EHCP's in a specified ways because they dont have anything specified!

It all seems like somekind of crazy game sometimes and you need to stay alert.

IPSEA is a charity giving support to parents with children with SEND, they have a website and a helpline.

Thanks Ineed. Now I just need to find a good Ed Psych in our area. DD has had a really good day today, I am starting to think the stress of nursery must make Her feel worse and make her shout and cry more as she only cried once today and hasn't shouted at all.

You need to ask the EP to see her at home and at nursery!

Good luck with finding one.

Thanks Ineedfor both the advice and the flowers ;) it's weird, we had such a nice day today with only minor sensory issues that I almost felt like she was "normal" and all this EHCP stuff seemed unnecessary. but then I remember how upset she was this past week at nursery and angry at home and it's like another child. Will let u know how I get on.

Don't even wait till January, send the application in now. There's a precedent on the IPSEA website.

And don't wait till you've got an EP report, good EPs are very booked up. You need one that has experience of tribunal work.

Thanks Dipan. Will apply first week of Jan as gathering statements now from GP, HV and former childminder. Am annoyed I wasted a week waiting for nursery decision which was then postponed. Will phone IPSEA today also.

You can put your request in now and forward the statements afterwards, so as to start the clock running.

Resurrecting this thread in hope of further advice from those kind enough to respond last time..

Update: I decided to try and co operate with school SENCo after being repeatedly advised by various parties that a parental EHCP assessment application to LEA would almost certainly be rejected. Met with SENco for first time last week, she took a week to "observe" my DD herself then today emailed me to say in her opinion my DD is coping OK with the support that's in place (i.e. NONE) and she doesn't think DD needs to be seen by the Ed Psych at this time. (Btw she happened to observe her on a really good week, Sod's law).

So pissed off and want to get in a private Ed Psych now but have read not all LEA's accept their reports. I'm in Richmond borough. Any advice on next steps please?
Awaiting an OT assessment in nursery situ in March. My DD is 3.5 and has suspected Social Communication Disorder and confirmed "Significant sensory issues to noise/light/crowds". So far only evidence I have to present is a Paed report with above diagnosis, and two nursery observations (both of which say she cries multiple times a session over insignificant things/over slightest physical contact with kids/ doesn't follow instructions/has daily outbursts/etc)

Any help/advice appreciated. I've been in touch with IPSEA and parent partnership so far.

My aim is to get an EHCP in place for when she starts school in Sept. I know she will have trouble without support as she is very advanced but gets immediately angry and violent when she can't do something easily or perfectly, plus she is hyper sensitive emotionally and physically, plus has issues with noise in particular. Sorry for garbled post. Brain going haywire..

Please apply for the ehcp yourself. Don't believe people telling you it will be rejected, that is just not true for everyone. I applied for an ehcp for my son, also summer born also sensory issues and asd etc and was approved first time. I am now applying for a special school place for him.

To be honest if the senco where your dd is now is so dismissive I'd seriously consider a new nursery setting.

There's a forum on Facebook called SEN Action and it's been extremely helpful to me.

Thanks Faiylea, it's encouraging to read you were successful. I will take a look at that FB page too. Yes, I wish I could change nursery but feels like I would have to start all over again getting them to understand her plus it would be a big upheaval for my DD. Very disappointed in the SENCO.

Hmmmm the difficut is that as part of the ehcp assessment process they will contact the nursery and the senco. If they are not supportive you will have difficulty because their report will say your dd doesn't need any help - that's why personally I would be looking to move her because long term if your goal is getting the ehcp you stand more chance being able to say on the form that you had to remove your dd from nursery because they couldn't support her needs.

Something I am finding out at the moment in my own process is that they don't seem to want to know what is working, they want to know what's been tried and hasn't worked. The ehcp is about setting targets and making provisions for the future 6 months to a year at this age and they want to know what hasn't worked up till now.

(In my case this is frustrating as my ds is already in a special needs playgroup which he loves but they keep harping on about wanting to try him in a mainstream nursery to see how he would cope because if he fails there it will be easier to get him in to special school which is what I want... To me that is like setting him up to fail so I am resisting).

I know you want to go for mainstream with support, just sharing my own experiences. :)

If you do go down the route of requesting the ehcp yourself I would email the ehcp co ordinator with as much information as you can. I have sent several extra very long emails talking about life with ds and how much care he needs and the co ordinator has said these have been very useful and she has used these at meetings etc.

Good luck !

Thank you Fairylea for sharing all that useful experience. The problem I am finding with my daughter is that her main issues are emotional ones and harder to show what's not working: she continues to cry frequently over minor things as well as things she can't do. Unless I am there I don't know how often she is crying but at last observation it was 8 times in 3hrs. I think nursery are so used to her crying that they don't seem to think this is a problem and say she is "coping". I think if I cried 8 times in 3 hrs at work for example people would say I definitely wasn't coping. Harder than measuring educational targets I think.

Your advice about writing to the EHCP person with detail of daily life with DD is a really good one which I shall definitely do when I submit my request. Thank you for taking the time to reply x

You're welcome, good luck :)

Just a quick thing... If she is crying lots the educational psychologist would probably say she is crying due to frustration at not being understood / or sensory issues. These can become educational issues - if a child is too distressed to learn they won't be able to access the curriculum. In our case ds cries because his volcabulary and comprehension are poor. So one of his targets for his ehcp is to expand his volcabulary and recognise 5 emotional feelings in the next year. Another one is to be able to sit and partake in a structured activity for 5 mins. Another one is to be able to eat a yoghurt independently (motor skills related). Sounds daft maybe but none of the skills have to be education related as such, they are about meeting the child's care needs so that they can learn. Obviously in an older child it would perhaps change depending on the level of need of the child.

Sorry for delay in replying Fairylea. That's a great insight re the crying. It's difficult in pre-school to see how things will develop educationally but you are quite right, the crying could quickly become a barrier to learning. Have made up my mind to apply for EHCP assessment myself now without EP report and take it from there. If turned down I will pay for EP report privately. Thanks for all the advice. Here goes...

Do get your application in now, quoting the teacher who said support would be essential in the mainstream. Don't be put off by people saying the application will be refused: even if it is, you can appeal, and it sounds like there's a very good chance that the council would ultimately concede.

If you're in Richmond, you're well placed to go to workshops run by SOS SEN, and I'd strongly advise you to book for one or two. See www.sossen.org.uk/parent_workshops.php

The nursery sounds pretty hopeless. You need some more "observations" by people who know what they're looking for- possible options are NHS speech therapist & OT (can be like trying to book a visit from a unicorn though); private SLT/OT/ed psych (can be pricey); LA early years or ed psych types (often say 'nothing to see here'); nursery themselves if armed with a VERY structured observation tool.

Even a childcare student with a checklist and a watch would be better than nothing. Or you could get your Dd into an out of school activity run by people who know about SEN eg meetoo & co.

But... If they want to see nothing, it's hard to get past that