What is this ?

[Kaz33]

DS1 - aged 5 (year 1)

Bad pencilgrip / slow reader
Inappropriate behaviour - hitting friends etc..
Constant fidgeting
Constant talking, mostly garbage
Doesn't like to be touched, eye contact
Doesn't like PE, physical activity
Phobias about buttons, badges, anything new

This is mostly at home, at school I think he isn't disruptive in the classroom during lessons - just in the interludes/play times but mostly hangs around with the very active, tough boys so gets away with it.

But he is smart, funny, loves drawing, numbers, words.

I've read the websites, but mostly feel confused as I appear to be the only one who is obviously concerned.

Hi Kaz33,
Nobody can really say what the problem is but just wanted to say if you are worried you should perhaps go and have a word with your GP and the school, perhaps the staff at school have noticed stuff as well.
When my son was this age he was displaying the same sort of behaviour and has since been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, which has took about six years to diagnose. Most important thing is not to worry it could be that he will grow out of it. There are lots of other Mums on here who will be able to advice and I'm sure you will get more replys.
Bikermum.

well, as i read in one of the other posts i read the other day, you never just get 1 thing, it all seems to overlap, so its quite confusing trying to find a diagnosis, is he being assessed, i would push for it though, i believe my ds4 has dyspraxia, and tbh he sounds similar to your ds, but there does seem to be autistic tendancies in there, which my ds4 also has, as like i said it all apparently overlaps, cos i dont for 1 min think ds4 is autistic spectrum. if you are concerned push for an assessment, a good place to start might be with the school senco, she at least will be able to tell you any concerns they may have and point you in the right direction about where to go next, are you still under the hv, as she could do a referral but as he is 5 that may not be an option, talk to school senco 1st and see what she has to say, good luck with it hun.

lol, was replying at same time, my ds3 is aspergers, and yes he also displays quite of few of them, how long did you suspect aspergers for bikermum, i have been saying for about 18mths now that i believed he has aspergers, still no diagnosis, however school are now in agreement with me, frustrating having to wait so long for dx though isnt it.

Thanks for the support - feeling a bit isolated, trying to get DH behind me is a bit of an uphill battle.

Will try and have a more complete conversation with the school.

Oh dear, been reading some of the old posts and getting more concerned.

His behaviour has definitely been getting worse, brought on by the three performances of the b*y school play.

Recent developments have been constant blinking, unable to control his eye movements and a desire to count - trying to count all the way to school.

i would say that this is more likely to be signs of some form of autism or at least autistic tendencies- the avoidance of eye contact and/or physical contact, constant fidgeting, although i also think that it could also be some form of ocd too maybe. the eye contact would definitely suggest autism, but the counting, and inappropriate behaviour would suggest ocd although this could also be part of autism

Kaz33
Hope you are feeling ok today and not getting yourself to worked up over this, easier said than done I know.

Mum24boyz
we thought that there was something not quite right from quite a young age. He was late at most milestones and didn't seem to know how to interact with other kids, there were lots of problems at pre school which carried on into infant school. The school were in agreement with us as well. Our son is 11 now and we have seen so many different 'specialists' and finally they have said Aspergers. How old is your son and how have you find it.
Bikermum.

hiya bikermum, my son is just turned 5, but as he is ds3, i knew also from a young age that something wasnt right, although i didnt notice when he was very little, others did, he started to develop normally, and then stopped completely, didnt say another word from 18mths for about 6 mths, by which time i was hassling the hv non stop, as i knew this wasnt right. i have been really lucky as i got him statemented before he started school, i now realise how lucky that was, as he also has nf1 which often leads to delayed development and learning difficulties, i am also lucky that the school are being really good, and his support worker has worked with autistic spectrum and is pretty clued up on how to work with him. i believe that it gets harder though where aspies is concerned, my son is so bright, and i know that he is not always going to manage well at school, as he is already way ahead of the class, and he only started in september. we apparently have an appt at child development centre next month, so am hoping specialist gets off the fence and admits it.
kaz 33, dont be too hard on dh, some men dont like to admit that they produce less than perfect sperm, he may see it as an insult to his manhood, imo its usually mum that knows best, so go with you instinct, and yes hun, it does sound quite autistic what you have just mentioned, my ds3 as i have said, is as yet undiagnosed, but i believe aspergers syndrome, he cant draw a picture to save his life, i have a wall full of pages of letters, since he was about 2 yrs old he has been obsessed with numbers and letters. dont feel down hun, there are loads of us out there, i felt very alone, but online there are so many special parents, you dont need to feel alone hun, hugs for ya.

Kaz33 - Your ds sounds similar to my ds1 (now 6yrs old). He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism (similar to AS) nearly 3yrs ago.

Ds1 does the eye-blinking when he is feeling stressed about things. I think school at this time of year can be stressful for some children as normal lessons are disrupted by preparations for Christmas-related stuff. The counting may possibly be about regaining control and keeping at least something constant when everything else seems to be changing for him.

do you know what, my ds3 does the eye blinking when he is being told off or something, i have never even thought about it before, till i just read that. kaz, ds3 used to count all the time aswell, and it used to be the only way we could calm him down if he got upset, he would then count with us and he would cheer right up.

Well yesterday he told me that he was being excluded from the playground during breaks because he kept hitting kids.

I spoke to his teacher this morning and she said that he is fine in lessons but as soon as he hits the playground he just starts pushing and hitting other kids. He is told off, is given time out and then gets up and does it agains. She looked a bit confused and said that she thought it was wilful as he can't have forgotten as he has just been told off.

This morning he was a nightmare on the walk to school and then this evening he is a dream, talking normally, writing, asking about spellings. So of course I now think that I imagine everything...

kaz33 does he have any support at school, in the playground it could just be because they are all running wild and he doesnt know how to cope with it, i really worried about my little man in playground, cos he doesnt know how to play with other kids, so far touch wood he seems to be ok, maybe he will actually prefer to be in the classroom where it isnt so mad, as for him seeming normal, i guess they sometimes do, sorry guys yeah i hate that word too, there are sometimes when you can talk to ds3 and you would never know he is different, and other times you dont have the foggiest what he is on about, maybe you are just looking for signs that he isnt different hun, but either way, its still worth trusting your instincts and checking it out. good luck.xxx

Well I am going to assume that everything is fine and we are going to work really hard with him over the christmas holidays and see what happens.

Thx for your support. I love mumsnet.

Good luck, Kaz.

Have to say fish oils are worth trying!

yeah fish oils are defo worth trying blossom goodwill, thats an idea kaz33, i defo think they make a difference, my boys have been on them for about a yr now, and ds4 has calmed down quite considerably, to the point of us noticing the difference when we ran out the other week, and couldnt afford to replace them straight away, certainly worth giving it a go, good luck kaz33, and i love this site too, i've only just found it myself.

Wierdly enough he has been on fish oils and I too ran out and haven't replaced them - I am prompted to get some more!!

yeah i would hun, how long has he been on them, it can take a while for them to kick in, but like i said, i honestly didnt realise how much effect they had had until we ran out, asda do a 3 mths supply for a lot less than the chemists charge by the way, and they must work cos thats what my boys have been on for about 6 mths now, good luck.

On them for about a month and a half. They were recommended by a kiniesologist that he was seeing. He didn't say to keep taking them, but just bought some more on the web as no harm as he doesn't mind taking them.

think my boys have been on them for knocking on for a yr now hun, my ds4 saw his speech therapist last month having only met her in july, then not seeing her over hols, she was absolutely gobsmacked at how much he had come on, there defo must be something in it, so if he doesnt mind taking them i would keep him on them for now, and like i said, if he doesnt mind the fruit burst ones(my little 2 have 1 every night before bed and call them sweeties, so they are quite happy to take them) asda do a 3 mth supply for £5+ which works out considerably cheaper, and they are obviously still doing the job, hope you notice some improvement hun.

Update:

His nutrition was checked out by his kiniesologist, he said that he was sensitive to sugar, chocolate and food colourings. So we have cut them out of his diet and he has been taking some prescribed homeopathic remedies. Also just for good measure I have banned all tv and computer time.

Its been about three weeks now and my son has totally changed. He is still sensitive and talks to much but:

• his relationship with his brother is much calmer and improving all the time
• we have conversations where he really verbally interacts
• we get eye contact
• he hurt himself and let me comfort him
• he said goodbye to one of his friends the other day, never did it before unprompted
• his behaviour at school is better
• he is performing better intellectually at school as well

I feel like I have a different child, we still have lots of issues but are making progress.

I am fascinated by the treatment that he has been through - we have been doing a therapy called the sunflower treatment - its a holistic therapy which looks at lots of different areas of your child. Our kiniesologist has looked at skeltal structure, neurological blockages, nutrition, allergies and loads more that I can't really explain.

It is for children with learning difficulties, not sure how bad DS1 was/is, I think he is probably quite mild with issues with dxprysia and aspergers. Certainly I was the only one who was really worried, but I could see him starting to fail at school both socially and educationally. So I enrolled him in this programme because I had a feeling things were not quite right. Its been up and down but it has really helped him.