Went to visit a mainstream school today

[jenk1]

Headteacher read proposed statement and her first words were:

"Does he always make noises and fidgit when he works"?
Yes, he isnt even aware that he does it we said.

"Oh" she said

Then she said that we might want to consider that there is another boy in the class who is statemented who has erractic and severe behavioural problems and in view of M being vulnerable to bullying and exploitation this is something to consider and also they have to consider whether M would "tip the balance".

She said we need more hours in the statement.

She showed us around and asked us about mealtimes and we said that M has a very strict food timetable and will only eat certain things on certain days , "packed lunch then for him" she said, so we agreed and i asked her what would they do about his sensory issues such as vomiting when he smells strong food, "Oh, what do you do at home" and we said "well we dont cook strong food,-only when he has tea at my mums once a week we might have curry/chilli" she didnt answer.

Then the class teacher was saying that they work on "circle time" and "social and communication help"

Oh good we said, now what about supervising him at breaks and dinner time, "why"? the headteacher asked. so we told her that he doesnt know how to play properly with the other children and can only play games that HE wants to and about his obsessions, again she didnt answer.

Its a shame cos its a really nice school but its not right for M, we know which school we want him to go into and its an independant one that specialises in ASD

Good thing you at least have a good school in mind. Sounds like teacher is a bit hesitant, afraid even? of having your child at this school?

Did you ask her what kind of support she would get to help your son? I actually just came out with it and asked my son's "ex" teacher, whether she felt comfortable teaching my son with all the other kids. I asked her if she could "handle" him. That put the onus on her as opposed to me, having to prove my son could "fit in" the class.

Few teachers will admit that they can't handle a young child. But at the end of the day, you need honesty from the teachers and staff as to just what they are capable of doing. You don't want them "proving a point" to save face.

We just took our boy out of a mainstream nursery and have found instead a playgroup. We had everything in place for our boy at the nursery, but the whole thing was being "micromanaged" the teachers were afraid of putting a step out of place and it just ended up being too "scripted" for my boy.

I am hoping that a playgroup will have less structure, certainly less kids and more freedom and he won't be expected to "perform" as much as in this particular nursery. Also, smaller classes, means less stressed out teachers.

Its a hard one. There just doesnt seem to be any middle ground. For us, its either mainstream or "special" school. We dont have any thing else.

yes i agree with you, she did seem hesitant about having M in her school especially when she read the proposed statement and his difficulties.

It just gives us more ammunition for the special school which ultimately is where we want him to go, have you got a school in mind for your son?

Hi, stick to your guns with the school you want. Beware that if your child gets into this mainstream school, and they can "prove" he has made progress, you may lessen your child's chances for the other school you have in mind. Its all about what costs less, not about the child.

We have little choice of schools, here its mainstream or special. Neither of which is suitable for our child. Might try homeschooling.

we have homeschooled M with 4 hours home tuition provided by the LEA for a year now.

Its been good, had its ups and downs but if i knew when he was 3/4 what i know now i never would have sent him to school.

But its time for him to go into school and one that can teach him social/life skills as well as education as we cant seem to get him to do anything any more and he needs specialist/professional help.

WE are sort of there too. We have had an ABA program running for well over a year. But, my boy has no friends/siblings and he needs interaction with kids. Thats the only reason we aer sending him to school. Even if he doesnt interact, he will still pick up things, though I dont know how much, seeing as the special school is full of autistic kids just like him, who dont talk and dont interact!!!!

Mainstream has 26 kids per class and that is wholly unsuitable. Tried it already and it was no good. Every child is different.

What we got, over and over from the mainstream nurseries is that they cannot allow our boy to "disturb" the other children. As soon as i hear that word "disturb" i know that what the teachers are really saying is that they Cant handle my boy, and are really saying that HE is disturbed. Further, its clear that the NT children come first over my boy and that is not good enough.

Its so tough trying to find a balance. I have finally found one. A special school with 7 kids in the class but i have insisted on no TEACCH approach and no visual strategies and nothing that will "feed" his autism.