I really dont know how im going to do it

[shazzarooney99]

As most of you know ive had a really tough time with my son, with his behaviour and with him wanting to kill himself, my mum died 7 weeks ago and my partner had a heart attack 5 months ago.

The stress has taken its toll on me, so after my mum died i went off work sick, i work with an agency so dont get any sick pay.

Anyway i phoned the agency and asked if it was ok to come back to work but they havent phones my with any work.

I did apply for sick pay off the government and send a sick note off and they are saying they have not received it. so no money.

Christmas is 17 days away and I dont know what im going to do, i couldnt have carried on working without having a break, i needed to take some time for myself.

The children wont have a huge lot for christmas and i feel really bad about this, dont get me wrong ive been picking up stocking fillers ect.

I just feel really bad and now wished i had gone into work.

Sorry for typing this, i am not asking for anything, i just feel better if i can get things out.

Don't feel bad. You weren't well enough to work. What good would it have done dragging yourself to work on top of everything else.
There will be other Christmases.

Just spend time with them, maybe do a couple of cheap trips over the holiday and try to have some fun!

They are more likely to remember that than what presents they get!

Good luck

I think if you are the "healthy/coping" one (and that can be relative) within the family, then it's easy to feel that you are in charge of making everything all right for everyone else.

Over recent years we've had multiple health problems within our family, and bereavements. My mum died just at the point that dh's cancer became terminal and ds3's health, mental health and education were causing serious concern but getting very little in terms of outside support. I have a kind of minimum standards approach for these times. I decided that if everyone is still eating regularly, they have clean clothes and mostly get to where they are supposed to be, then that is good enough. When there was enough energy around I added bits on. The first Christmas after mum and dh had died felt really strange. It helped that my attitude to Christmas was just to aim for a "good enough" one.

You've had far too much going on and it seems that, like me, you've become the person who has to cope with everything. Be kind to yourself, don't worry about not being able to have better presents. Don't try to do everything or fill in all the cracks. Aim to enjoy each other as much as possible.

Thanks guys, i knew you would all make me feel better xxxxxxxxxx