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Original poster

Is anyone else haviing a tricky time at the moment?

18 replies

Jimjams2 · 01/12/2006 23:38

Don't know what's wrong with me.

DS1 is a bit all over the place- think its biomed related- not sure what (keep getting "oh dear" type messages in the home school book). He has this muscle spasm thing going on all the time (see repetitive motor syndrome or whatver its called thread), which looks teribly uncomfortable for him. Ds2 is in a frenzy about xmas, and ds3 is just being ds3.

Fell really flat, and a bit overwhelmed which I haven't felt for a long time. Or perhaps its just xmas coming (most depressing time of the year!)

Anyway if there's anyone else, hello- perhaps we should have a virtual drink together. Cheers.

OP posts:
2shoes · 01/12/2006 23:51

i sometimes think it is the time of year,
all the adverts and stuff about christmas at school. dd has been good of late, but now playing up again.
CHEERS

Original poster
Jimjams2 · 02/12/2006 07:58

yes and all the "is he looking forward to xmas" questions have started, and I LOATHE them.

He's all over the place though- was up at 5am for some reason.

OP posts:
TeeCee · 02/12/2006 08:13

Sorry you're feeling a bit flat at the moment JimJams. I agree with that 'perhaps it's that time of year feeling', Xmas can do that, it sort of heightens stuff doesn't it.

I also hate that 'is she getting excited about Xmas' question and people asking her 'what is santa bringing you' etc.

It's also Lottie's birthday a week before Xmas (in fact it's both girls!) and I get a sinking feeling at the thought that yet again we won't be having a proper little party for her. I refuse to throw anything big for her until she can walk, run, whatever but just join in properly with the others.

Anyway, hope you feel a bit better by the end of the weekend.

sphil · 02/12/2006 08:15

You already know this JJ, but I'll prop up the virtual bar with you.

DS2 has slept through the night for 4 months solid since going gf, but for last two weeks has woken up for three hours in the middle of every night bar two. Being really hyper again - loud shrieks, laughing for no apparent reason - so depressing as I really thought we'd lost all that with the diet. Even during the day he's having periods of being more unreachable - esp in mornings. Feels like a regression to me.

Also has awful eczema round his mouth which we can only control with moderate steroids (not really supposed to be used on face).

Think it's biomed related as well - talking to Michael Ash (Nutrilink) next week, so am pinning hopes on him. Know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed - weather doesn't help. nor does DH being away for a week.

Xmas approach not too bad as DS1 looking forward to it in a v sweet way - but am getting fed up with people asking what DS2 would like. Or rather saying
'How about a lovely X?' when I know he'll just ignore it, wrapping and all. We're getting him an old telephone - boot sale beckons tomorrow .

I'm one of those people you start to edge away from at the bar because they're talking too much...

Twiglett · 02/12/2006 08:19

I'm sorry you're feeling flat JJ

Gin [wino]

batters · 02/12/2006 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannaBe1974 · 02/12/2006 12:10

sorry to hear that you're having a hard time of it at the moment.

I think that other peoples' take on Christmas can be tricky, I think that it's something people tend to ask everyone about, and asking parents of an sn child does, in a way, show that they don't view those families as being any different from the norm iyswim. I think esp for Lottie for instance who goes to ms school, does show in a sense that people don't look at her as having sn but that they do view her as they view other children iyswim.

Not sure if I've put this across rightly, apologies if any offence caused

coppertop · 02/12/2006 14:21

Can I join you in a virtual drink? Ds2 is in manic mode again. Ds1 is still ill so I'm also housebound. And if one more person tells me "There are only x days till Christmas" I think I will join ds2 and scream in a corner somewhere.

Sorry you're both having a rough time, JJ & Sphil.

jenk1 · 02/12/2006 15:03

Sorry that you are both having a hard time sphil and JJ, cant offer any suggestions on the xmas front as we dont celebrate it, thank goodness i add cos i just know that DS and DD would not cope with all the celebratory stuff.

I think i will join in a drink with you at the virtual bar as DD has ended up in A&E again this morning, it never seems to end does it........

Pixel · 02/12/2006 18:18

Hopefully it is the time of year JJ. My ds has been more manic than usual as well. Lots of screaming and throwing himself around when he is normally very placid, and back to soiling himself when he has been out of nappies since the beginning of september. Def feels like a step back. The dark evenings don't help either because they make me very fed up.

Oh and you can tell my family are all out Christmas shopping today because I've had a constant stream of texts and furtive phone calls asking what they can get ds and has he got a such and such. I've completely run out of ideas now so they are on their own. I just have to cross my fingers that they don't get some huge thing that will sit in the living room gathering dust like the 'ice mountain' from last year! It took me half an hour to put together and ds looked at it for all of two minutes!

I'll have a nice Baileys if that's ok. Cheers!

Blossomhill · 02/12/2006 18:24

Yes Christmas is always a nightmare for dd too. School have linked the 2 together and just decided that dd always goes downhill.

Although she knows all about Christmas and is excited etc she just cannot deal with all the changes (school plays, rehersals sp?) and her behaviour is dreadful.

We have also been having the 2.30/5am (anxiety related I think) wake ups so huge sympathies xxxxxx

A big drink it what I need too!

Saker · 02/12/2006 19:53

Sorry you are feeling low Jimjams - I do think this time of year is hard.

I feel down at the moment also - we had Ds2's Iep meeting on Tuesday and though he is making a little progress they just can't support his motor /sensory integration problems so we need to get a statement and look for a place in a special school. I knew all this was coming but it means reading everyone's report written to show things in the worst light I know but it is still really depressing. Then I am dreading Wed morning where Ds2 is in the school play shared between the special needs class and one of the mainstream classes at the school. It's quite funny really - only 1 of the 7 special needs children will actually sing (and that's not Ds2!), but I doubt I can get through it without bursting into tears. In fact I am seriously considering not going because it will probably upset Ds2 to see me at school and then for me to go away again without him and if I hide so he doesn't know I came there is no point in me going because I will only be saddened watching him sit somewhat bewildered through two songs before being marched off again. I thought I'd sort of come to terms with everything but I am feeling very fragile also at the moment.

Pass the bottle .

7swansaswimmingup · 02/12/2006 19:57

sorry all you mums are having a bad time with our special ones

enjoy your drink

Original poster
Jimjams2 · 02/12/2006 20:13

Life's utterly unfair isn't it?

(although Saker- you may find it gets much better in a properly supported environment)

Will reply properly another time, but thanks for sharing everyone!

OP posts:
sphil · 03/12/2006 09:25

Saker - I really understand how you feel about contemplating special school and the whole statementing process. I am a bit surprised that the unit can't support him better - are they more of a language unit?
I was wondering whether you'd thought about BIBIC - they helped a great deal with DS2's sensory problems ( we've let their programme lapse recently, which may be one reason for DS2's behaviour atm). They can also suggest a programme for school to follow (I think they do this for Peachy's son?)

Original poster
Jimjams2 · 03/12/2006 15:43

The only good thing about this year is that for the first time ever I've known what to buy him (torches, mirrors, a periscope and a bike- although dh keeps going on about how a bike is hideously dangerous if he learns how to ride it- can kind of see his point).

For those of you with little ones who don't know what a present is- that day will come- we can't leave presents out now as they get openend (no matter who they belong to- if ds1 opens it and doesn't like what he sees he just drops it to the floor )

ds2 has gone to the cinema for the first time with dh- I am, being screamed at in stereo by ds2 and ds3 bah humbug, better go (ds1 was up at 1.30 klast night until 4am, at least I will look the part on Tuesday when seeing SS to request safespace funding!)

OP posts:
Saker · 04/12/2006 11:19

Sphil
The unit is called an infant assessment unit- the idea is that they assess the child's educational needs so it does at least mean that they should be taken seriously in terms of getting a statement. They have SALT input three times a week which is really good but I have been disappointed with the OT. She assessed Ds2 and concluded that he was in the bottom centile for everything in the test but they didn't follow it up with any help or support for us or the school. The school asked her to come up with a short daily gross motor program for Ds2 and she produced a mainly fine motor program filled with stuff that he couldn't possibly do (e.g. write his name in sand - he doesn't even recognise letters) or hop like a frog and she should know his level because she has assessed him.

I have wondered about BIBIC in the past but we have recently got Ds2 assessed privately by an OT in Yorkshire who specialises in children with sensory integration / dyspraxia type stuff. She has produced a great long report saying that he is very delayed in all areas with motor skills and that we need to start with very basics such as hip and shoulder stability before we think about anything like pen control. She is going to put together a program for the school and one thing that was encouraging at the IEP meeting is that I felt the staff were more understanding of Ds2's problems (they were good before but I felt there was always a hint that he was just being awkward).

However it increases the stress because as well as trying to fit in RDI I am now supposed to incorporate a sensory diet into Ds2's day all in the half an hour between breakfast and taxi to school or with a tired child after 4pm and a brother who also wants some attention. Anyway sorry to go on - lots of people have it harder than me - atleast Ds2 isn't that difficult in terms of behaviour and I am gradually introducing things to them at school (e.g. like sitting him on a therapy ball in carpet time) which will help reduce the amount of stuff I need to do at home.

Davros · 04/12/2006 19:19

Sorry this is a hard time of year for some.
Smug alarm - things are going very well in the Davros household at the moment and I am really looking forward to Xmas as I love it. I have become immune to the whole Xmas crap and insensitive comments stuff......... but I have noticed that DS has a pattern of going through a really hard time AFTER Xmas, the first term of the calendar year is usually hell, aaargh!

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