Flailing about with complex diagnosis and mainstream schooling. HELP!

[Skullyton]

Ds is 9, he has HFA/ADHD/DCD/SPD He's in yr4, he doesn't currently have an EHCP but we are working on it.

Ed Psych is in seeing him today.

I don't even know where to fucking start, i dont... So i apologise if this rambles, is dis jointed or whatever, but i need help.

DS was suspended for hitting a TA barely a week after being back at school.

Then we had a massive issue with his Teacher stopping him using ICT to do his work (he is supposed to have choice of ICT or scribe because of DCD) and now she's going on about him not being able to continue expecting special treatment and it being unfair for the other children in class to see him getting help they dont. HE IS DISABLED YOU STUPID COW.

Then we had total work refusal. I told them i wasn't willing to do it at home, i'm not his teacher, they are!

Then the HT agreed to give DS short term 1:1 for a week. He did great, only they gave him another TA one day and she got punched/kicked. Gave him the other TA back, fine.

Yesterday after having a good day the TA he was suspended over tried to extract him from the computers, and she got punched/kicked again.

DHT has been discussing with me and agreed to remove this TA from the class and swap her for the one he gets on with for now in case this is a mishandling/personality clash issue. He is trying to get to the bottom of these aggressive outbursts.

The whole thing is a mess, we dont know whats going on and i'm not there to observe to tell them what they're doing wrong, and sometimes even i don't know... i dont know if its a sensory issue, a transition one or what.

I just want to tear my hair out and scream.

Teacher sounds like a nightmare to start with, this is the problem when complex children dont have statements/ehcp's. They change class and run the risk of being with a teacher who is opposed to inclusion!!

Your child has no protection from strategies being removed until the ehcp is completed and even then you will still meet teachers like this sadly

Get your community paed to write to the school board to request assessment is carried out immediately (or CAMHS, or whoever your diagnostic authority is)

Take your diagnostic reports into school and set up a meeting with the senco and HT to discuss how this will be managed before EHCP is in place. You need to make sure they understand that they have a duty to safeguard your ds as well as his peers and staff, and that this will require resource. Ask him to get successful TA to document how she is identifying triggers, and what strategies she is using to transition ds successfully, and ask for these documented strategies to be passed to other staff members. Ask for all of this information to be compiled so that you have evidence for EHCp.

Use your diagnostic reports in the interim. Ask the senco and HT to formalize the supports that have already been put in place (IT/ scribe as teacher is threatening to withdraw them and you can see that this will become a trigger point as ds is overwhelmed and out of routine)

Ask to see the current IPP/ IEP that they are using, (have you been involved in drawing up this plan and targeting?) Make sure that the current supports are written into this IPP/ IEP.

Has he got a safe space available that he can use when he is starting to come unravelled?

We had this with ds1 and ds2 in year 4 as well. It's so frustrating when some teachers/TA's are able to handle them well but others are just far too rigid to meet their needs. All I can really advise is to be persistent about that EHCP plan as that (or statement as was then) was the key to getting support for my ds's. At least the exclusion's add to the evidence about need.

In the meantime have they written an IBP (Individual Behaviour Plan) for him - if getting off the computer is a trigger then it should be written into the plan the best way to ease the transition - how do you manage something like this at home.

He has an IBP/IEP but its under review which is something they do this first few weeks back.

He has access to a calm room, its literally right across from his classroom.

Firstly I'd be emailing to confirm the recent conversations you've had. Outline that the class teacher thinks he expects special treatment but it's reasonable adjustments and add that DHT has been proactive in switching TAs and she can see a pattern in behaviours. That should help if he's xclused again because you can prove they aren't meeting his needs - they'll struggle to exclude if they aren't.

I'd then make a clear bullet point list of the effects of his disabilities and what reasonable adjustments can be made.

Personally I'd like to slap the teacher for you! My ds had a scribe in juniors with just a suspected dysgraphia/DCD dx (he has asd) and a laptop now in secondary and he's not due to see OT until next month. He was refused an EHCP.